Mistress Heart
Dark Connections Featured Member March 2003

Name: Mistress Heart

Age: Over 30 and under 50. I have lived my life in a very deep manner and have done a great deal of spiritual work on myself, thus making my emotional intelligence much older.

Orientation: Domme

Marital status: Very, Very, Very single, no kids and no pets. I would like to have two gold fish though. I need to put that on my wish list.

Do you currently have a sub or play partner? I do have 2 SUBS (paid) who like to play with me from time to time. And one personal SUB.

Occupation: Pro-Domme when work is available and social justice work.

When did you first realize there was something "different" about you?
When I was a kid. I always like talking to nature. Yes I talked to the plants etc. People always said I was weird, too creative and toooooo sensitive.

Do your friends who are not into bdsm know about your lifestyle? Due to the varied communities I have to navigate in socially/professionally, I don't make it a public proclamation. BDSM is so misunderstood in the Vanilla world. Also, it is still socially connected to emotional instability or perversity. Much more education and acceptance is needed. What qualities do you look for in a sub? I look for a Sub who is willing to be trained, is older and has a profession that is interesting to me, has talents and skills that are non-BDSM related, accepts his/her own limits, is willing to go into Sub Space, attentive and is generous with time/$. What is your favorite method of discipline? I love to do Tantra BDSM and strict protocol BDSM. I love taking my Subs on a Sub Space Journey and see the transformation during the session. Reaching deep inside one's soul is a gift. The spirits come through me and help connect with my Sub. I get HIGH and go into "DOMME Space" What a rush. Now for PROTOCOL discipline. I love to make my subs submit to ritual and following my every word. I love to see the Prostrate with their buttt in the air and hands in supplication to me. It creates a power dynamic that gets me so excited. What is your favorite toy? I love my floggers that are custom made by Lord Dmitri in the Bay Area. They are light, they have a nasty snapppppp and my arms don't get tired.

In general, how do you handle an unruly sub?
I have not had a unruly Sub (I call that a Smart Ass Sub) who tops from below. Either one wants to submit or not. I don't play those types of games. They BORE me.

How do you define "pushing limits"?
Once I get to know a Subs style of playing, I can go a bit further with the concent of course. Say for instance, a Sub came in and only wanted a 1st session consisting of Rope bondage, dirty talk and light sensation play. Ok, the next session, we might add in hot wax play and some fire play (fire play on the feet just to get them started)... This will push their limits and deal with their fear factor, trusting in my abilities to keep them safe and taking them on a deeper SUB Space HIGH. Boy those endorphins will really rush around after this type of scene. Oh my, I am getting exciting just thinking about this.

Do you enjoy making your sub cry?
No, I don't really enjoy this type of humiliation play. I have almost made a Sub cry but is was about him dealing with the wounds of his mothers inability to feel sexually free. He was sexually repressed due to his mom's making him feel like a pervert as a kid. I did a bit of study on the church and sexually repression and added that into the scene. I even wore a cross (he was a Christian) during the scene.

Have you ever felt like a scene got out of control?
No, none of my scenes get out of control. I was very well trained and continue to take classes so this does not happen. I make it a point to be very aware of my Subs, I check their breath, watch for "Leather Buttttt", check for possible bruises, overexhaustion, dehydration and just use common sense.

How has being a minority affected your lifestyle as a Domme? As a Person of Color, I may not always get the types of Suitors I may want. There is also the factor of racism in the scene. Sometimes people bring their brand racism with them. People are at times surprised that I know what I know and have the type of education that I do. I do work hard to bring a level of insight and education to the scene. I try promote diversity when ears and eyes are open to it. I have successfully provided some diversity guidelines to a prominent BDSM group and did some diversity work (a BDSM Class on Race and BDSM) with a prominent BDSM sex educator in SF. What, in your opinion, are the most important qualities a Domme can possess and what do you need to work on to better yourself? In a few words. EDUCATION, COMPASSION and NETWORKING. What do I need: Advertising that will attract the generous Subs that I like to work with. It is hard during this economic down turn. Money is tight especially in the Bay Area.

Contact Mistress Heart at: mistressheartsf@yahoo.com