Yve
Dark Connections Featured Member December 2003

Name/screen name: Yve / LatinoDomsDestny

Age: 39

Orientation: Collared submissive

Marital status: Long-term relationship

Do you currently have a Dom or play partner: Yes, i am Collared to El Latino Dom

Occupation: Nurse

At what age did you first discover your submissive nature and how did that knowledge effect your life at that time?
As far as finding the D/s community, that has only come about a little over five years ago. But looking back over my life, i see where i have had a submissive personality as far back as i can remember. i was the type that would go out of my way to please others. Sometimes even to my own detriment. i feel that finding this community has helped to make me a stronger person. It has given me a way to channel my need to please another. Thereby allowing me to be strong with others and say no when needed. In my past, i have had a problem with saying no. Some would even go as far as saying i was a doormat. Probably so. But now, those days are behind me. i am able to hold my head up high as a strong woman.

Not many people realize that you are a highly trained and decorated martial artist. Does the training you have received help you focus during scenes... (hmm is that cheating?) During my training in the martial arts i was trained to focus on the details around me down to the minute details. i have also been trained to meditate. i believe this has helped me to focus during scenes in as such that i can put myself into a state where i can deal with the pain that i am receiving. i am able to channel that pain into pleasure. Is it cheating? Well, i would only consider it cheating if i were to do so if the pain i was receiving was for punishment. This is something i would not do. A punishment is not meant to be enjoyed in my opinion. Have you ever lashed out during an intense scene and does it bother you (or your Dominant) that you have the ability and potential to physically harm him due to your extensive training in martial arts? No, i have never lashed out. Another part of my training is self-control. Although i have learned to defend myself through instinct, that instinct only comes into play if i felt that i was in some kind of danger. Being that i trust my Dom and know that He would never purposely harm me, that instinct never comes into play. Although my Dom does know of my training, it does not bother Him at all.

Both He and i know i would not have use of it unless i felt that i was in danger. And to be quite honest, i would never be with a Dom whom i felt that i might have to use it against Him one day.

Your two young daughters are the most important part of your life. How do you balance your home life with your D/s life?
Actually, i have four daughters, two of which live with me at the moment. They are both teenagers (lawd help me.. lol) 13 and 15. They are aware of my D/s relationship with ELD but not all of the details. They do know that i defer to Him and that He has some sort of control over me. As they like to put it "Big One (that's what they call Him) has mommy in mad check". i think they're liking that a bit too much. LOL.. Every time i do something they don't like they threaten to tell Him. Little brats!
As far as balancing my home life with D/s, i pretty much treat my children just as any other mother would. i also keep our D/s activities down to a minimum in front of them. i do however still submit to ELD in their presence in a way that they would understand. For instance, i do things such as serve His food and His drinks, light His cigarettes at times.. etc. And when we are just sitting back watching TV or talking i tend to sit on the floor next to Him. i also wear my collar when He is with us. As of yet, they have had no problem with it. If they did ever have any questions about it, i would be open with them within their realm of understanding.

You run a very popular online discussion forum for people of color called EbonyDomsNsubs. In your opinion, do web sites/forums created for specific ethnic groups promote segregation within the bdsm community?
The only time i feel that it does segregate is when those not of color are restricted from their chatrooms and groups based soley on the color of their skin. my group is open to those of color as well as their admirers. But at the same time, i have no problems banning those from my group who join just to create havoc. Luckily, so far, i have not had to do that.

You recently held your collaring ceremony online. Some people in the bdsm community have a very dim view of "cyber" or online D/s. What would you say to them? i have known some who have a very deep and binding online relationship. For the most part, it is just the first step towards becoming RT. If being in an online relationship is what is best for you, then so be it. One of the things i enjoy about this lifestyle is the diversity. The only ones i feel can determine whether their relationship, be it online or RT, is "real" or "true" are those within the relationship. So basically, i would say... to each his own. If it weren't for the internet i might not have ever found out about this wonderful community. And i doubt i would have met ELD. Our relationship is RT and has been for about a year now.

The reason for my collaring ceremony being online is because both ELD and i have established some very good friendships with others online. Being that they could not be with us at an offline ceremony, we decided to have one online so that our online friends could join us in this very happy occasion. We did also have a small private RT ceremony for ourselves.

What do you do when a Dominant, who knows you are collared, flirts with you online?
i tend to be respectful and polite until such a time where they have shown that they do not deserve it. Usually i can handle such situations by reminding them that i am taken and not available. But if they insist on persisting, i let ELD handle it *smile*

You are a very talented toy-maker. Do you ever plan on selling any of your products and what other crafts do you enjoy?
Sometime in the near future i do hope to start a business selling my toys. i'd like to be able to sell them becuase i feel that they are unique in their design. And i love the sting that they deliver and feel that others would as well. i have had a few people ask me to make some for them.
i enjoy doing many other crafts as well. Such as crocheting, sewing, painting furniture, making ornaments and making favors for parties and weddings.

What are the basic steps used to make your own flogger and what types of materials do you like to use? The floggers that i enjoy making the most are those that are made from synthetic hair, the type that is used for extensions. i braid the hair for the tails. And for the handles i either wrap it in larger braids or some type of leather-looking material. The ends are burned then dipped in resin to make them nice and pointy. Gives such a lovely sting to it. i also make rope floggers which take a lot less time to do. But i prefer the feel and the look of the braided floggers.

If you could only use one part of your body to pleasure your Dominant, which part would it be and how would you use it?
i would have to say my mind. my Dom is a very intelligent man and He enjoys having intellectual conversations with me. He is always coming at me with challenging questions. i can actually see His eyes light up with pleasure when i have given an in-depth answer. He pushes me to expand my horizons and my knowledge. He is also always telling me that when i come to Him with something, come correct. Research my answers and opinions and have something to back it up.

Contact Yve at:LatinoDomsDestny@aol.com