Daddie Millarca
Dark Connections Featured Member June 2004

Name/screen name: Daddie Millarca

Age: 40

Orientation: Daddie, switch every other blue moon!

Marital status: In long-term relationship with my partner, Momma Shari! I'm not sure how you would define our relationship. It's not an open relationship but she has a grrl, and I am looking for a boi!

Do you currently have a sub or play partner: Yes! I play with a couple of girls regularly.

Occupation: Photographer, Graphic Designer & Web Designer

Daddie Millarca is certainly a unique name. Could you explain the origins behind it? The name Millarca actually came from a book called the "Daughters of Darkness". The protagonist is a lesbian vampyre that changes the spelling of her name as she travels, in the 1800, from village to village. So people won't know who she was in the last village. The term Daddie is one that was given to me from one of my previous lovers/bois. You classify yourself as being intersex. What does that mean? Well, Intersex itself defines a person that was born with medical conditions, reproductive system, or sex chromosomes that makes the person's genitalia appears outside of what you would "normally" call male or female. I was born with Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, which caused my body to ignore the androgen testosterone. I was given testosterone injections and raised as male.

It wasn't until later in my life that I got tired of taking the testosterone injections, that were only making me sick, and started to accept & live my life as the woman you see today.

When you have to choose a gender (ex. driver's license, gov't forms) which do you choose?
I choose female, because of my outer appearance. If I was given the choice I would choose Intersex as my gender. However society does not allow such a luxury, so I choose female. Besides I tried doing the guy thing, trying to please everyone else. I choose to be me to please myself!

Certainly you are aware of the controversy concerning same sex marriages. Are intersexed individuals able to legally marry?
Good question! Intersex people can marry legally if the person that is Intersex have the appropriate gender on their birth certificate. For instance: There are several Intersex people that live as male and have male on their birth certificate, they can legally marry a woman. However there are several Intersex women that have male on their birth certificates that can legally marry a woman as well! The "sex" on my birth certificate is male.

In cases of children born intersexed, why does the medical profession feel obligated to choose one sex over the other and how do they determine which sex to choose? Doctors choose who to label male and female by the size of their clitoris or penis, and their chromosones. Meaning, if a girl is born with an enlarged clitoris and have chromosomes of XX (female) they may choose to shave the clitoris or remove it completely so the child's genitals will "appear" as normal as possible. HOWEVER if you remove the child's clitoris they lose all sexual stimulation. Also, this procedure is done based on a heterosexist point of view. Doctors are more concerned with how the child's possible husband will react then they are how the child will be mentally later in life. What are the possible implications if the doctors should happen to choose the wrong sex? The implications are suicide, depression, anger, drug & alcohol addictions; a child going through life wondering what the hell is wrong with them.

There is a book out called, "As nature made him, by John Colapinto" It is about a guy whose penis was cut too short during a botched circumcision. The guy, David Reimer, recently committed suicide (unrelated to Intersex issues he was having).

How many surgeries have you been through? Were any of them needed in your opinion?
I am only aware of one surgery that was performed on me at birth, and that was to remove excess skin around my genitalia (labia), and to repair hypospadias. Hypospadias is when the uretha opening is at the base of the penis instead of at the head. Repairing hypospadias is strictly cosmetic. I strongly believe the surgeries were performed to increase the chances of me having "normal appearing genitalia".
(To learn more about Daddie Millarca's youth, read A Girl Named Steve)

How, when and why did you get involved in bdsm and the leather lifestyle?
I got involved in the leather community almost a decade ago. It was a lovely Mistress named Mistress Edna that introduced me to the lifestyle. I started in BDSM like a lot of other Dommes I know, as a bottom. She trained me for over a year, and then I became THE Most Sadistic Bitch in the Valley!

You were 1st runner-up in Ms. World Leather 2003 which is quite an accomplishment. What does one have to do to prepare for a contest of this magnitude? Do you plan on competing in future leather contests? Preparation for any contest requires a support network, a loving partner, fund raising, believing in what you do, and having the courage, compassion, and knowledge it takes to execute your platform. I will be competing in Ms. World this year. The lessons I've learned during the past year, as 1st runner-up Ms. World Leather 2003, are preparing me for my next role as Ms. World Leather 2004! (Ms. World Leather 2004 is taking place August 6-8, 2004 in Dallas, Texas)

Do you prefer to scene with men or women or does it matter?
I "prefer" to scene with women. Only because I feel a more spiritual connection with women. Bottoming to anyone is tough for me because I'm not really a masochist. I haven't met too many men that I trust enough to bottom to. I can most certainly top a guy, but the last guy I bottomed to was a friend and fellow Domme of mine here in Chicago.

You are going to meet your submissive for a very private, very intimate date. Prior to the date you plan to call and give specific instructions on what your sub should wear and other information necessary in order to please you. Give us a detailed depiction of the phone call you would make:

I have no patience boi! So when I say 7pm that's what I mean! I expect you to arrive on time. You will arrive promptly dressed in leather pants, leather vest, black tank top, black bra and matching panties & combat boots!

Once you have arrived you will be greeted with music playing softly - Die Form or Delerium - candles burning giving resting place to shadows, incense permeating the air, and me sitting in my chair on the far side of the room.

I want to watch you dance, boi, seductively! Start with your leather, take off each piece and sit it respectfully on a nearby chair.

Never lose eye contact with me, boi. Dance to the rhythm of the music, and strip down to your panties and bra. Once you have only your panties and bra on you must then ask my permission to strip nude.

Once that permission is granted you will then strip nude, and kneel on the pillow I will provide for you. Kneeling on the pillow, facing north, you will see two sets of restraints. One for your ankles and one for your wrists. The leather restraints are to be put on tight enough to feel, but not too tight for you to cut off circulation.

Breathe! Once the restraints are in place you will bow your head, and wait patiently for me to come to you. When I touch your shoulder, move your hair to the side, and bite your neck, that is your clue that the scene has begun. I will push your limits, boi! I will use every tool I have at my disposal; floggers, paddles, nipple clamps, rope, restraints, blindfolds, gag, belts, clothes pins, knives - YES KNIVES! -BREATHE! Maybe if you're a good boi I will use a butt plug! Do you understand these instructions? Any questions? No? Good! Until tomorrow, sweet dreams . . . boi!

Contact Daddie Millarca at millarca@ameritech.net
www.millarca.com