Lady D
Dark Connections Featured Member June 2005

Name: My name is Debi Harrison but I am better known as "Lady D"

Age: 51

Orientation: Dominant Female

Marital status: Single, but my soul mate is also a Dominant Female

Do you currently have a sub or play partner: I have a full time live in 24/7 slave girl and subs who serve me on a variety of levels.  I am presently looking for two male slaves to eventually become 24/7 live-ins to add to my household and my bdsm family.

Occupation: Hypnotherapist, customer service rep, lifestyle pro-domme

You were trained by a Grand Mistress who practiced European Victorian Classicism, a style that you noted is not widely practiced today. What exactly is European Victorian Classicism and how does it differ from basic bdsm protocol?
To answer this question you would have to know something about history and the Victorian era.  there were classes and everyone knew their place and where they were in the pecking order.  Whether you were Dominant or not, you trained under someone who had a minimum of 25 active consecutive years in the lifestyle and you submitted to them.  It was done as a sign of respect for your elder and teacher and there was no ego involved.  My Mistress not only learned BDSM, how to flog, etc. but she learned how to run a household and all appropriate etiquette and protocols.  She learned aromatherapy, how to set a table and serve courses, who is served first, etc.  Remember, during the victorian era, your stature was determined by how much you had, how well you entertained, how many servants you had, etc.  the more skills you displayed and how well your household ran was a direct reflection of who you were and your success.  Mistress learned everyone's job so that she could train a number one servant to do the same.  You therefore learned the maid, chauffeur, field hands, kitchen help, butler, valet,etc. all of their jobs.  You trained for years and as your trainer felt you had achieved your stature in one area, you were moved to learn another.  It was quite structured, extremely disciplined and respect and honor ran high in the scheme of things.  We live in a different time now and very few slaves know how to serve at a formal tea party and few are anxious to learn since we seldom have them any longer.  Even my teaching and training was quite watered down in comparison to what my mistress had to endure.  Some things I may have abandoned, some I have modified and some I still maintain.  I may not hold a twelve course meal or a formal tea but there is definitely still a pecking order in my household. (smile)

We understand that you have a fondness for Race Play. Prior to the starting the demo section of your Race Play workshop, you take a brief intermission to allow those who don't wish to see the actual scene to leave.  Has anyone taken the opportunity to excuse themselves? How widespread is this sort of play?
I have never had anyone walk out of this type of scene because I have never had a group request this workshop. I think that the reason for this is that it is too volatile a subject for most Caucasian circles and truly a ticking time bomb in the Black community.  Many Blacks can't get past the words 'Master' and 'slave' so discussing race play is beyond comprehension for some.  I really can understand that because there was a time where if you would have said that I would ever do a race play scene, I would have called you a liar, but I have learned to never say Never, LOL.  I believe awareness is the first step toward any type of change and  I wish I could get more POC to be willing to discuss it. Vi Johnson wrote a wonderful article about 'Race Play.'  Knowing your limitations is important and if you don't feel that it is a place you can go, then don't.  I understand that Race, like Religion and Politics are things we are quite passionate about.  It is sometimes difficult to be objective or not allow personal feelings, teachings and/or experiences to get in the way.  I would like to see more tolerance and a more non judgemental attitude toward those of us who do enjoy it though.

Is Body Punching considered Edge Play? How did your interest  in this type of play evolve and do you engage in this type of scene in public?
Body punching by most is considered edge play but i think that it is more so by the viewers than by the players.  I love engaging in it in public since I usually am not just feeding off of my sub but the energy that is coming from the crowd as well.   Body punching requires a sense of learning the body, and especially a communication of limits.   You not only learn where to hit and not, where to hit lightly but those hard limits.  For instance, someone may allow you to punch and kick but will not allow face slapping or someone may allow any type of physical altercation but no verbal abuse.   Most body punching scenes are quite intense, both to watch and to play. Usually, the bruises do not develop immediately but there can be deep bruising and can remain for days and even weeks later.  The reason why it is so difficult for many to watch this type of play is because it mimics abuse issues for some.  You see someone yelling, kicking, punching and sometimes by both sides (resistance play) and it can be a difficult thing to watch, especially if it is a Dominant man and submissive female.  The first time that I saw it, it was a scene between two gay men and the energy of the scene swept me into it.  It was all physical and became quite primal until there were just grunts and groans and I was mesmerized.  I learned how to play from two lesbians and I have learned new and additional techniques from others such as Master Z.

Ms. Deaf Leather came to PEP and showed a really unique technique when she beat the hell out of a boy with open hands only.  I found that quite helpful due to my long nails and I have learned how to adjust how I punch (just like everything else <smile>) because of them.  I think I love it because I am usually such a mental sadist and this is a type of play that  brings out the physical sadist inside of me.

What process does one have to go through to become a Master Hypnotist? Do you ever use hypnotism to control your submissives?
The process is like mastering anything.  I learned hypnosis and studied and applied it for several years.  I attended support groups, took continued education courses and eventually took classes which i had to pass to be certified with the title "Master" which of course for me held a dual honor, lol.  Believe it or not, I very seldom use hypnosis in bdsm scenes.  I do not use hypnotism to control my submissives since to me, it defeats the purpose.  I want to take my control and influence to help a submissive reach a heightened and altered state of consciousness and to help them to see that they may have abilities that they are unaware of.  It is incredible to see the gleam in a subs eyes when they do something that they did not think that they could do and know that they are feeling that sense of achievement.  It underrates and sometimes eliminates that feeling if in their minds, they can say, "I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't hypnotized."  I have done what I call  hypnodomination but usually it is with someone that i have already done  hypnosis or domination before and then we will combine them.

For the novice interested in learning hypnotism or erotic mind control, where do they start? Are there certain books you recommend or training courses?
I use hypnosis for the purpose of therapy and therefore I am very leery of training anyone interested in it strictly for BDSM.  I see it like any other type of therapy, it should be used by responsible people with a code of ethics in the field. There are many books on hypnosis, especially self hypnosis literature.  There is the National Guild of Hypnotists on the East Coast and the American Institute of Hypnotherapy on the West Coast and both can give you information about classes and schools in your area.   Hypnosis is powerful and if fallen in the wrong hands, it can be dangerous.  It is one thing to help someone better themselves and quite another to have someone playing inside of someone's head without taking responsibility.  I have just heard of a horror story where a Master gave his slave a post hypnotic suggestion and they broke up and he left her without ever removing it.  This has actually affected this girl's quality of life and  she has been desperately seeking someone who is lifestyle friendly to help her.  This is not like in the medical profession where a physician can just go back in and make repairs that the first physician missed.  Telling a person that they can only cum by your command or only to the sound of your voice may be a great ego trip but if you were the one who could possibly NEVER EVER have another orgasm, tell me, how would you feel then?

You classify your sexual orientation as simply "Sexual". What exactly does that mean? Why not just say bi-sexual? This is a great question so I will explain.  When you classify yourself,  you are placed in that box.  I used to classify myself as heterosexual female until I met my soul mate who also identified as a heterosexual female.  My relationship with Lady V is not based on sex but she is my soul mate because she completes me and I was more surprised than most to find out that it was a woman who did this.  I have had sexual encounters with almost every orientation that i can think of and those that classified themselves as heterosexual, lesbian, transgender, gay and even someone who identified as a hermaphrodite so what the hell does that make me?  Sex is a personal thing to me.  I don't kiss and tell and my sexual being is only a part of Who I Am.

I find that people get too hung up on who you are screwing or better yet, who they think you are and most of the time that don't know how to disseminate the information. If I say I am het and you see me with a lesbian or better yet, a gay male, then what?  What does that mean?  Well for most, they would say that it means that he is not really gay and that I am just fooling myself.  However, he was a strong enough man to know who he was and the fact that he still prefers men did not diminish the beautiful experience that we shared.  Most straight men won't do a scene with another man because they could not handle the thought that their dick may get hard and then what would that mean?  When we learn to be who we are and share ourselves without expectations, thinking that we have something to prove or what someone might say..... Well, what I have realized is that we all have preferences, color, size, shape, orientation but many times we allow those preferences to limit us and stifle us.  Life for me is about SELF EXPLORATION and with every encounter; I learn something new and different...about them and about myself.   Not allowing others to place labels on me and learning how to remove the self imposed ones has been quite a 'freeing' experience for me.

You've been known to assume many different roles during a scene, including several male personas such as a daddy, a flamboyant gay man or your alter ego, LORD D, a hardcore Master who shows no mercy on his slaves. On the exterior you appear to be a very beautiful and very feminine woman. How is it that you are able to convincingly get into these male roles and is it difficult to stay in character?
We are all multifaceted beings and when we were children, we tapped into all of those personas.  Remember playing cowboys and indians, doctor and nurse, mommy/daddy and child, etc?  We did so without hesitation and effortlessly but as soon as we became adults, we were told that this was unacceptable behavior and we repressed the urge to let those characters out.  I have just learned to access all of the different parts of me and allow them just 'to be' for a period of time.  Lady D is all woman, totally feminine and a lady but I am also a nurturer and when I am with my little girls, I access the mother in me.  I am also very aware that we all are composed of female and male and I have learned to access my male side which sometimes baffles people because they are looking at the outside and what you see may not necessarily be what you get, lol.  Through hypnosis, I have found that I was a gay man in a past life and sometimes those vibes are just there (maybe some residual stuff, who knows?) and are so strong, they are undeniable.  During this time I am very attracted to gay men and they to me which can definitely raise some eyebrows, lol.   Lord D is definitely my biggest mystery because he seems to be everything that Lady D is not.  It seems like he lives on the 'dark side' and I access that part of me to conger him.  He lacks compassion and empathy and he is not egotistical but he damn sure has no humility, lol.  He smokes a pipe (Lady D doesn't smoke) and has a laugh that sounds almost demonic.  Lord D has walked throughout the Eagle and few knew who he was.  He doesn't show up often but when he does, it is usually unforgettable.   It would be good if we would let our personas "come out and play" every once in a while and that's why I enjoy role playing so much.

According to your website, DandSLifestyles.com, you encourage Dominants to mentor new subs in need of guidance. You also warn that it takes a certain amount of discernment to identify real potential in a submissive. What are a few of the key ways to tell if a sub is worthy of being mentored, and how can a submissive avoid being mentored by a Dominant who wishes only to take advantage of their new status in the lifestyle?
I am going to answer the last question first.  I think the best way for a submissive to avoid being taken advantage of is to enter this lifestyle slowly, cautiously and take your time.  Submissives are so eager to taste what they have only fantasized about, that they throw caution to the wind.  You need to also learn what the word 'mentor' means and that it does not have to be done by a dominant.  Personally, I think that it would be better to find a 'seasoned' submissive as a mentor, especially if you are new.  Who would be better to share those new found thoughts and feelings with and understand about D/s relationships than a submissive who is respected, has time in the lifestyle  and who you can connect with?  The answer to your first question about discerning the potential of a submissive is really easy for me.  Since this is a spiritual journey for me, I allow my higher power to lead me in who I should give my time and energy to.  There are many people out there who talk a good talk but have their own agenda and then there are some who hunger and thirst for what this lifestyle can offer.  I listen to what people say and observe their actions and then I ask for guidance.  I use this same technique for my own mentors as well.  I had heard about Goddess Lakshimi years before we met and every time she was spoken about, there was a tug on my heart that I just 'had to meet her.'  When we finally met, it was as if we had known each other forever and I had the same experience with my business partner Mistress Kay.  I have just taken a little college student because God told me that 'he has a great work to do and I am to be his teacher.'  I have watched this child blossom and grow in such a short amount of time and I couldn't be prouder if he were my own son.  There are people out there who will take everything that you can give and suck the very life out of you so you have to learn about self preservation.  I have learned that when I mentor, I find that I get as much if not more than I give and that is how I know that it is right.

The organization you created, PEP4POC (People Exchanging Power for People of Color), was created in part to dispel myths and misconceptions concerning BDSM and people of color. What do you believe are the biggest misconceptions about people of color in this lifestyle? Well the first misconception includes my quote below because many people think that I created PEP4POC as an exclusionary group because they think I am a Black Female Supremacist. The first thing that I explain is my feelings about supremacy and my group was not created as such.  For someone to be supreme, someone must be inferior and we have enough of that philosophy in my humble opinion.  I don't want to be 'better than' anyone and I don't want to be worshipped.

I am only a woman who cares about mankind and desires to be of service and to assist in our evolution and spiritual growth.  Supremacy tends to breed contempt and feeds the ego while destroying other's spirits.So, if you serve me just because I am Black or because I am a female, will that change if I lose my pigment? (Look how they talk about poor Michael)  I also wanted an organization that discussed 'our' societal issues.  I ran a BDSM group for many years where I was one of perhaps 3 or 4 POC in a group of 90 or 100.  It did not seem reasonable to present topics like "Why do many of us view the words 'Master' and 'slave' in a derogatory light" to a group where most would have scratched their heads and looked at me like I was crazy. Talking about 'Black profiling' at that group was so far beyond most of their reality that it was not even conceivable and I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times I was told that I and Black people in general are treated no different than anyone else.  I even had known racists in the group but they were ok with Lady D because she was not like 'those other Black people.'  Well those other Black people are MY PEOPLE and I wanted that connection.  I wanted to empower my people and help them to see the POWER that we have......in our BDSM community, in our society and in the world.  I wanted to provide a place where my Black brothers and sisters could come together and embrace one another and show acceptance through unity.  I wanted to bring my people out of their bedrooms and let them know that being 'kinky' is not something to be ashamed of or to only be done behind closed doors.  I wanted to create a safe, healthy and friendly environment for POC and those that love them and I am diligently working to help PEP4POC become such a place.

You've been quoted as saying, "I am not a female supremacist... if you serve Me, it will not be because I am a female but because of who I am." If you could only use ONE word to sum up who Lady D is, what would that word be, and why?
ROFLMAO.....ONE WORD?  You can't be serious, one word....well, of course it would have to be SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!!
 
You are Lt. Uhuru and you have been transported to a planet  inhabited by a tribe of roving submissives. Your mission is to find Dilithium Crystals so Scotty can get the ship running again.  However, the submissives are not cooperating and you are unable to find the crystals without their help. Describe in detail what steps you would take in order to complete your mission.
What a wonderful last question and I showed this one to my son (who is also a trekkie and aware of my lifestyle) and he laughed and said, "Mom, they obviously don't know you  since you would never be lt. uhuru because she is just in charge of communications and has no real POWER on the ship."  Well, out of the mouth of babes, LOL.  Now I would probably be Janeway or Piccard . 

If time was a factor and I had very little left, I would just do mass hypnosis and get the info.  But if I had time to kill, I would do some reverse psychology like our subs try to do to us all the time.

I would observe the subs and play games with them and watch how they interact with one another as well as with me.  This would teach me what they enjoy, their likes and dislikes and what is important to them. Finally, I would then get them to play a game called "find the dilithium crystals" enticing them with things that they considered 'rewards.' Those who would bring me the most dilithium crystals would get these 'rewards.'  I'd coerce the subs to tease all of the ones that didn't want to participate in the game, making them want to become a part and in fact, turning that into a game unto itself.

How the Captain might look in her Voyager uniform.

The best part is that I would encourage, compliment and feed their egos and make them think that the 'dilithium crystal game' was their own idea all the while, lol.  See subbies, I have learned well.  It is not important whether I am IN CONTROL, ONLY THAT YOU MAKE ME THINK THAT I AM!!

Obey my final command and......MAKE IT SO!!!

Contact Lady D at LLDPEP@aol.com