Tee
Dark Connections Featured Member July 2007

 

Name: Tee

 

Age: 40s

 

Orientation: Switch

 

Marital status: Polyamorously committed

 

Do you currently have a partner: I have a Dom, a sub, and occasional play partners.

 

Occupation: African American Health

 

Well of course we want to talk to you about puppy-play. Tell us who "coco" is, and why it's so important to identify one's totem animal.
coco is the puppy name her Master lovingly calls her. She is a rambunctious, playful little thing who loves attention! When approaching animal play, the first thing one has to do as the sub, is identify one’s totem animal. A totem animal is the animal in which one most identifies. As I looked at my behavior and what I feel most like inside, I came to the conclusion I was a puppy. I exhibit puppy-like behavior even when I’m not in puppy mode. By that I mean, whenever I am about to see Mr. Worf, or hear his voice, I get extremely excited and it exhibits itself physically, i.e. heart palpitations, heightened awareness/alertness, and well…the urge to urinate, quite similar to a puppy that knows it’s getting ready to go outside for a walk, or get a treat, etc. For others, it could be that one has a certain attitude and stance that is cat-like, or a certain aggression that is wolf-like, or perhaps they are regal and graceful, reminding one of a show pony. Once identifying one’s totem animal, the real adventure begins with learning behaviors, costuming, commands, etc.

Puppy play offers the best of many aspects of the D/s dynamic. There is role play, discipline with drills, and light to intense restraint. Like BDSM, the rules are set by the couple, although primarily with the Dom’me/Master/Mistress/Handler in the relationship. You could be a strict disciplinarian, or a playful owner taking your dog out to the park. A disciplinarian may want to use verbal commands, or a dog clicking device for his/her puppy to execute trained actions. The playful owner may want to play fetch with a toy, or roll around on the floor. Fortunately for coco, her Master is a combination of disciplinarian and playful. The type of Master can also be contingent upon breed of dog if the puppy is identified as a specific breed. Puppy play gives you infinite freedom over the scene by offering all of these things in any amount that you wish. It takes the playful nature of a puppy, and twists it with the D/s play. Simple acts such as “walking the dog" can quickly become a kinky, albeit fun, time for both.

 

Aside from your human mentors, you've also studied dogs and puppies in order to better emulate their behavior. What did you learn from watching real pups?

By far the biggest source of learning came from observing my sister’s real puppy. I made sure I spent a lot of time with him watching every move he made. I would get on the floor and do everything he did. I would eat beside the puppy when he ate and lay down when he laid down, always watching  how he moved his body, etc. I also learned more about the postures that convey different “emotions”, i.e. sadness, fear, anger, play, tiredness, eagerness, protection. I still watch puppies frequently as I am constantly taking in new information about puppy behavior. I then took the knowledge gained from watching real puppies to my friend tearss, who's the only other human female puppy I’ve ever met. She taught me how to manifest that behavior with my human body. Her Handler, Mistress August, trained me in some behaviors as well, and then instructed Mr. Worf and I together in navigating a Master/puppy relationship in D/s. Mistress gifted me with my puppy bowl, and as a sign of trust, she graciously allowed me to bring it to Black BEAT last year.

 

How do you prepare yourself physically and mentally before a puppy-play scene, and what type of props are in your puppy-play toy bag?

I get into the role first by being silent. Puppies don’t talk, so for me to be quiet is very instrumental in getting me into puppy mode. Mr. Worf’s touch changes as well. Where I would normally get a gentle caress, I’ll receive a much firmer pet from my Master. Since I am a puppy as opposed to something like a kitten/cat, it’s much easier to distinguish between the types of touches he gives. The tone of his voice changes as well. Another signifying factor is being strapped into my harness. I stand quietly as Master harnesses me. When he is finished harnessing me, I put on my other accessories: fingerless gloves to protect my hands; low shoes - I use swimming shoes because they are very flexible, yet have a rubber sole and are light-weight; heavy duty knee pads; custom-made canines with a reinforced bridge so I can chew treats and play tug of war without worry of breaking it; as for my ears, if I have braids I put my hair into two floppy ears, if not, then I wear my hair in afro puffs. After all this is completed, I stand facing away from Master and he puts my collar around me with the dog tag that says “My lovely coco” ***gush***. I then turn around facing him, waiting to begin. He gives me a command to heel, and I am instantly on all fours ready for his next command. This is the point when I start panting as well. I cease to think of myself as Tee. I am now coco. Mr. Worf doesn’t exist either, only coco’s Master. The other items in the puppy toy bag are my puppy bowl for water, Master’s pouch that he wears on his belt to hold my treats (M&Ms or blueberries), my leash, my squeeze toy, and a rolled up newspaper for discipline. Master also keeps a clicker in his pocket that I can hear above anything. An example of how he’d use it would be if he told me to “stay”, and then walked across the room to speak with people. When he desired me to be next to him, instead of having to raise his voice above others to call me, he’d use the clicker, and I’d come running.

 

During a scene, coco responds to a variety of different commands that some may find difficult due to physical limitations or handicaps. What tips can you give to people with agility issues when it comes to puppy-play?

It is important that the Master and puppy work within the puppy’s physical limitations. Just about any puppy posture can be adapted to one’s physical comfort level. For example, I can not sit all the way back on my knees. So sitting for coco looks more like a lounge with me resting my weight on one hip and my arms in front of me slightly bent. My head remains up and I am at alert. It’s clear that I’m sitting and not laying. I can maintain that posture for an extended period of time. Masters generally know what postures will and will not work, and will adapt them accordingly. It’s also imperative that the sub be vocal in their comfort level before beginning any puppy play. Because animal play can be a form of BDSM, it’s additionally important to develop safe words, or rather safe signs the Master can recognize to reposition the puppy without breaking the role play or prematurely ending the scene. Master will ask me if I’m comfortable and I will usually bark and have an expression on my face to say I’m ok. I prepare for future play by taking yoga to increase my flexibility.

 

People often feel compelled to interact with coco the same way they would interact with a real puppy, including petting, playing, baby talk, etc. How does your handler feel about all this intimate attention coco is getting? How do you feel about it?

Master says, “One of the things I enjoy is the objectification factor. Puppy play is one of the few things you can do D/s-wise that is non-threatening to most people.  If you are so inclined, you could actually invite people into your scene without it being threatening to either party. For example, one of the things I enjoy doing is walking coco over to unsuspecting people. coco introduces herself by sniffing at their hands and feet. This invites them to pet coco. This could easily open doors to enhance the scene. Who wouldn't want to pet a cute, friendly puppy? As I learned more about what the demands of the role would be as a Handler, I realized that it allowed me to blend two things together that I enjoy, my domination over Tee, and role-play.”

 

One of the greatest things about puppy play is the interactive component. I enjoy being shown around, and being pet by people, including strangers. Nearly everyone loves a puppy, so people who would normally not approach Mr. Worf to touch me, feel comfortable asking coco’s Master for permission to pet his puppy. Also, I’m able to interact with people in an ongoing BDSM scene that I’d never get a chance to play with, like one of my closest friends. coco adores her and tries to make a beeline for her every chance she gets. It’s wonderful!

 

 

During your scenes there appears to be total immersion in the role of the animal. What kind of aftercare is needed to come down after an intense puppy-play scene? Do you stay in role, as coco, during aftecare?

I stay as coco for the beginning of aftercare and become Tee again toward the end. When the scene is about to wind down Master will have me rest at his feet to calm me and to slow down my heart rate. He’ll have me drink plenty of water, and will pet me more caressingly. It lulls me. He talks to me telling me what a good puppy I’ve been, and gives me more treats. After a while, he’ll begin to undress me. I get undressed in almost the same order as I get dressed. The gloves, shoes and knee pads come off first, then the canines, followed by the harness, and finally, my treasured collar. As each item comes off, Mr. Worf massages me with a more erotic and gentle touch. Once everything is removed and I’m standing there naked before him, he embraces me and welcomes Tee back. He then kisses me. This is significant because he doesn’t kiss coco…at least not the way he kisses his sub, and that lets me know he sees Tee now. I still prefer to be at Mr. Worf’s feet a little longer as I acclimate myself to being Tee again. He continues to caress my face and rub my body. When I’m ready, I begin expressing gratitude verbally, and the scene is then over.

 

When did you realize you are a switch and was your path to self-discovery as a switch a smooth one, or a bumpy one?

I first realized I was a switch almost 2 years ago when Mr. Worf and I first started playing. Previously I had only practiced D/s as a Domme with very little to no impact play in my relationships. So I joined Mahogany, looking for a sub and to begin learning various forms of impact. But Mr. Worf snatched my ass up instead. Y’all know he asked me out at my first munch right? Even though I was looking for my own sub, I was also interested in experiencing impact from a sub point of view because it’s important to me to know exactly what I administer feels like. So I started hangin’ with Mr. Worf. Lo and behold, he got a hold of me and I got hooked on it! Now, I could no more deny my sub side than my Domme side. I’d say although my path was somewhat inadvertent, it was smooth as butter.

 

Being in a polyamorous relationship with a male Dom and a female sub seems like it might be a bit complex at times. What's the key to a happy poly family life?

One crucial key is honesty. I am not afraid to voice my opinions, feelings, fears, dreams, expectations, and neither is my family. To not voice them would be to lie by omission and rob my family of me. A relationship can not survive for long under those conditions. Trust is also a key. The three of us work very hard to have as much integrity as possible with each other. There’s a sense of safety we provide to each individual encouraging authenticity without fear of judgment or abandonment. Another key is our commitment to one another. This commitment lends itself to always trying to find the most effective way to communicate. We are gentle with one another when we’re angry, calming when one is scared, reassuring when one has self-doubt, patient when one needs more time. Also, we are very clear about our roles and how they overlap. There really is very little confusion when a family brings up possible scenarios in the beginning that may or may not be unpleasant to discuss in the future. The last key to our happiness is the fact that we love and respect each other deeply.

 

It seems that most women in poly bdsm relationships are bi-sexual. Can a poly D/s relationship flourish when all involved are hetero? If the women/men  are monogamous, yet don’t mind that their Dom’me is poly, then the relationship could flourish. Similarly, if the Dom’me would allow his/her subs to see other people if the subs are poly, it could flourish as well. One of the great things about BDSM is all the manifestations and ways in which people relate to one another and do what’s best for them. For me, there was no guarantee that I would relate to my sister sub as I do, yet I was prepared from the very beginning to be in a polyamorous family unit with her. At the very least we were both going to serve Mr. Worf and make it work because neither of us was going anywhere. The fact that now she has become my sub, and my girlfriend as well, is a bonus, and my sweet reward for trusting in our family.

  

If we were to take a look in your dresser drawers right now, what would we find besides articles of clothing?

First of all, I detest dressers because I can't see everything at once. I haven't had a dresser in 20 years...so how do I store my clothes you ask? Very neatly in lucite boxes and on shelves without a thing out of place. My closet looks like those closets on organization TV shows. lol My closet is a good metaphor for how I view BDSM. I like transparency, and require it of my sub, and provide it for my Sir. The beauty of a thing is in how viewing it turns on my imagination. The unfolding mystery of where my mind goes once it sees something in totality is far more interesting than discovery of inherent qualities in bits and pieces...a more comprehensive mental game from jump if you will. So yeah, what you see is what you get.

Contact Tee at lovnmyself@yahoo.com