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Nubian
Kings Discussion
Each week we provide a set topic for discussion based on the suggestions and ideas of this community. Your comments, questions and suggestions are greatly appreciated. Your name and ideas (with your permission) will be posted in the Discussion announcements. These chats provide a great opportunity for each of us to develop, enhance and practice our D/s social graces in an educational environment.
No doubt, you may have noticed my frequent absences from the discussions as of late. I have started a new job that has me working bizarre hours during the day, evenings and most weekends. Please know that you have my full support and I shall return full steam. In the mean time, I thought I might share an amusing list that was sent to me by Subbie Amok. A subbie's Blackboard Lessons i will not carve the flogger handles i will not spank others i will not aim for Master's head i will not yell safeword in the grocery store i will not sell the names on my newsgroup list to the National Enquirer i will not read and giggle at Master's logs from the Dom Forum i will not yell fire every time Master lights a candle i will not slap Master with my bra Punishment is not boring or pointless I will not call Master, Dr. Death i will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Master's d/s party i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe Dom hunting a burp is not an appropriate response to Master i will not eat all Master's m & m's while he is at work i will not yell she's tied up at the subbie forum Master's gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet i will not call Master, spud head, butt head or any kind of head Masters ARE perfect Mud is not an acceptable side dish for dinner for Master i will NOT wear panties i will not peek out of the blindfold there is no such thing as "slave immunity" i will not sneak in the bathroom when i don't have permission i did not win an Emmy for my last session i will not hide all Master's toys all play and no work does not a good slave make i will not say "oh Master you're the bestest and biggest" just to get a spanking i can not fire Master my last assignment was not stolen by one armed net hackers i will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhips i will not perform breast implant surgery on the newbies i will refrain from saying "hail Satan" when i don't like Master's orders i will not remind Master daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 yr. anniversary i will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all Master's clamps i will not wear Master's underwear on my head Master's dog does not stink i will not torment the newbies with the violet wand i will not use the pages from Master's Dom Handbook to start the grill I will NOT break wind while master is doing Domly things to various parts of my anatomy. I will not giggle uncontrollably when the cat decides to "help" master. Nor will I remind him that he is sub for the cat. I will faithfully remember that washing Masters shorts with my red sweatshirt is not a good thing to do. I will try to remember that Masters are allowed to snore. i will not cut and paste my Master's IMs to the chat room "all the other Dom's let their subs do it" is not a valid reason i will not giggle when my Master is lecturing me i will not get my subbie friends into trouble, they are capable of doing that on their own i will not refer to my Master as "cute", when he is angry Patience is not something found in hospitals "ow, that hurt" is not my safeword i will not correct my Master by telling him that my directions are better than his while doing a scene, i will not bring it to Mistress's attention that Her mustache needs shaving again Giving credit where credit is due: This is a compilation of many emails exchanged on the Triangle Munch Group mailing list.
Do you have any
favorite "I will not do's" for your sub?
Have you already been informed???? Camille Cosby just made reference for
The Voting Rights Act in her most recent open letter on racism.
If you've never been politically involved or written an elected PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!!! We are quickly approaching the 21st Century
and we were wondering, and when I say we, there are others who know
if anyone out there knew what the significance of Our right to vote? The right to vote is guaranteed to ALL citizens under the constitution. "The right of citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age '[26th Amendment). Seriously! The Voters Rights Act signed
in 1965 by Lyndon B. Johnson was just an ACT. It was not made a
law. In 1982 Ronald Reagan amended the Voters Rights I was never enamored of this effort, and as the years pass, I grow less and less respectful. I view the struggle to obtain a voting rights bill for American-born Africans a diversion of the political elite. Am I the only chess player out here? Hasn't any of our so-called "Leaders" ever studied the Art Of War? We are struggling for something guaranteed under the "Law of the Land." Does anyone realize that Blacks/African Americans are the only group of people who require PERMISSION under the United States Constitution to vote! In the year 2007 Congress will once again convene to decide whether or not Blacks should retain the rights to vote (crazy, but true). You may argue that the constitution was in existence when we were previously denied the right to vote. And I must agree. However, I raise the question: If we cannot expect congress to enforce the constitution, why are we asking them to make another law they can ignore with equal nearsightedness? "The right of citizens of the united States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude '[25th Amendment...Ratified February 3, 1870)! In order for this to passed, 38 states
will have to approve an extension. We must contact our Congress persons, Senators Alderpersons, etc., to put a stop to this! As bona fide citizens of the United States, we cannot "drop the ball" on this one! We have come too far to let government make us take such a huge step backward. So Please, let us push forward to continue to build the momentum towards gaining equality. Please pass this onto others, as we are sure that many more individuals are not aware of this. I urge all of you that are able, to contact those in government that have your vote on this issue. Write your Congressman/Congresswoman, Write your president, write somebody! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. IT CAN ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Let's work together to continue to strive towards equality for all Black African Americans. Once again, we need to have our voices heard in mass. I pose the question: How many times will we as American citizens chase the proverbial "Carrot on a Stick" while the powers that be watch and laugh over a steak dinner? Here's an idea: How about
putting this energy towards forming a Black Economic Power base?
With the wealth we control I do not think anyone could deny us anything.
Just a thought.
FOR ALL THE BROTHERS WHO AREN'T HERE
As I said, some brothers have yet to outgrow that need to 'Strut their stuff.' They feel the need to 'look' better than the next Dominant when in the public arena. If it comes naturally, no problem. The problem comes in the trying. When you feel the need to "try," you are exhibiting an underlying feeling of low self-esteem. If you are taller then the next man, it will be evident, if you smell better, that too will be evident. Hint: The subs also see the 'posturers' and believe me, they talk. And, if you are not trying to impress the subs, then who are you trying to impress? Hmmm, I don't think I'm going to examine that one. We are members of the rarest group in this society; we are the true embodiment of the strength and dignity possessed by our ancestors from the beginning of mankind. Just the way you walk, speak, the confidence and authority in your manner will attract more women, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, BDSM and vanilla, than you can possibly hope to get to know in this lifetime. Brothers we are as rare as a perfect diamond, ain't no need to bust in line. This is D/s, not pimpin.' The Lexus doesn't get it here. If acting like a pimp works for you, check again on the quality of your mate(s). The thing that impressed me most about my first encounter with a real submissive was when she told me "I'm not a doormat, and I don't lie down for just any Dom, Dick or Harry." If you are in doubt as to which side your coin lands on, here are a few tips. Pimps seldom hold on to their girls more than two years, and if it is that long, there are usually drugs involved. A number of our contemporaries have similar track records. In actuality, the skills of a Dom and the skills of a pimp are quite similar. It is the application of these skills that makes the crucial difference. A pimp obtains control through fear, coercion and erotic Dominance. He creates a 'safe' world for his hoes to live and work in. He isolates and insulates them from their real and imagined fears. He becomes their world, much the same as a Dom/master becomes the world of the sub/slave The major difference between pimpin' and Dominating is the motivation, intent and respect the Dominant has for his submissive. The Dominant seeks to motivate his sub to reach her potential, not just sexually, but completely. He is just as concerned with her development as person as he is her development as his sex toy. A Dominant is loving, nurturing, and encouraging. Enabling his sub to reach highs she may never have otherwise imagined. He does this for their mutual benefit. A finely rounded sub is a credit to her Dom. Any fool can posture, and run game, build castles of smoke and make threats. It doesn't pass the test of the light. We must police of ourselves, if our community is to continue to grow. How can we become healthy as a group, if we do not take responsibility for our individual actions? Observe how a neighborhood changes, a developer buys up a slum, rebuilds, moves in the 'right' people and the next thing you know you have an elite community. I would like to start before our community takes on the appearance of a slum. If your brother stumbles, offer him a hand up; if he wrongs you forgive him. Pushing someone else's head down is not the way to appear taller. It just shows that you feel short. 1. When did you first discover your submissive nature? My very first stirrings began when two male cousins tied me to a tree in our backyard and left me there. I screamed and cried but was having a great time. As an adult, I discovered the lifestyle through a friend who soon collared me and became my Dom. That was two years ago and I have never looked back. 2. How did you come to embrace the BDSM lifestyle formally? One of the main challenges my Dom had to face with me was my thirst for knowledge regarding the D/s lifestyle. I wanted and felt that I needed to know everything I could about it. He did not agree. Much later I learned that he was a switch. After our relationship ended, I began to search online for like minded people of color. Needless to say, my search was very limited. I found a large BDSM organization located in my area. I met a wonderful sub and she offered to take me with her to a social.(Conquest Social) I greatly enjoyed meeting so many interesting adults who shared a similar interest. After a couple of months, I had met and befriended other Black subs and worked up the nerve to attend my first play party. Sire Kane, of Conquest and Lair Desade ( Lair de Sade ) invited me there as his guest and assumed the role of my protector during my visit. Everything I thought I knew flew right out of the window that night. There were over 250 people in attendance. However, of those only 5 were Black subs and 4 Black Doms. Three of the Black Doms were there with white subs. Only one Black Dom was alone and available. This was surprising because he was tall and very handsome. One month later he collared me. My formal and public education began immediately. "The Gift of submission" Ahhhh, those lovely and romantic words. Through my experiences, I have finally learned what my personal "Gift" is. For me, the most precious and elusive gift of submission, is trust. There may even be a correlation here between the gift of trust and the rarity of true submissives of color. In my most humble opinion, trust is far more powerful than love can ever be. We find love in this lifetime and lose it. Yet somehow, we usually will love again. However, do we ever truly trust that way again? Until a woman can open her heart and her mind to full trust, she can never be called a true submissive. This is not the easiest way to live. My choices in terms of relationships is limited because I require the attentions of Dominants only. To further complicate matters for myself, he must be of African American heritage. The trust factors are also present. Two years ago there were very few Black Doms and subs, nationwide. This is still just as true today. However, we are now networking, meeting and taking an active role in the development of our community, both online and off. Embracing our fears and moving forward. This means a great deal in terms of redefining ourselves and our families. The heartbreak, challenges and disappointments are many and great. Yet, the joy, freedom and rewards still outweigh them by far. In this way, we are no different from any other people seeking love, hope and fulfillment. Basically, it's just a different way of loving. Therefore, my quest continues. Not out of weakness, neediness or mental disability. But out of a sincere belief, that woman was designed for the express purpose of serving and caring for mankind. Our reward was to be the satisfaction of seeing our homes and communities thrive. We are to be loved and respected for our efforts. Of our Doms we ask but one thing, to earn and protect our trust. It is our most precious "Gift" to you. After all, it's attached to our very lives. In this politically correct chaos we call the Twenty-first Century, a traditional and spiritual mindset offers all that is left of our hope for the future. 3. What qualities do you look for in a Dom/sub? Most important to me is sincerity and a sense of purpose. So many times we encounter those who use D/s as just another means to bag the NaNa. I look to see if D/s is an honest philosophy in a dominant. For me, it must be used as a nurturing and molding tool to strengthen our relationship. It's not about how loud he can yell, how big his winkie is or how hard he can spank. Maturity, patience, creativity and flexibility are very important qualities. Training a submissive is very demanding work. In addition, it requires a tremendous emotional investment on both parts. An ability to handle the task gracefully, will greatly enhance my desire to follow his lead. Honor is paramount in the Dom that I seek. Integrity and trustworthiness complete the package. However, while I insist on these qualities in a dominant, I also realize that in order to deserve the best, I too must strive to be the best submissive that I can be. I cannot wait around for someone to "create" me. It is my responsibility to prepare myself to be worthy of a quality dominant. This is an ongoing effort, yet I take delight in every moment of it. 4. How does your submission express itself in your daily life? At present, there is no viable outlet for submission in my daily life. All that I am is reserved for that special one. 5. What has brought you to the Nubian Kings Community? It was my great honor to be one of the founding members. The room was created as an alternative to Black Doms Room. In June of 1998, all that I knew about was the SoCalFemsubroom. I was already a collared sub in real time, but knew nothing about it or anyone else in the lifestyle. I wanted to learn more about the lifestyle and the people who practiced it. My Master didn't agree. He said "I will not have you contaminated for the amusement of the commons." Whatever that means, lol. Therefore, I kept searching. I desperately wanted to find other Black people in the lifestyle. I finally happened upon a room called EbonyDomsubChat. Happiness doesn't even touch what I experienced. Here were real Black Doms and real Black subs interacting, loving, and playing. This was great! There I met, La Nubienne, ATyme2Moan, SirPain4U, MrChoclet9, BlkMale9, VThornDomV (Adomis03), Bishop&Red, Johnn76369, MrKNY4, many more BLACK PEOPLE!!!! It was thrilling, but only one problem. They were all on the East Coast. Meeting, munching and having fun. Goddesssss and I felt very far from the action. She started a room for Ebony Doms and subs in So Cali. This is where we originally met. It never really took off. So she wandered around AOL until she stumbled upon The Black Doms Room, originally created by MzBlckJagg. Goddesssss found the room empty and called me in to hang out, just to see if anybody would come in to visit. For the first few days, nobody did. Black Doms was a refreshing find. Soon we had many visitors and it became very popular. Many D/s romances started and ended in that room. It stayed full seven days a week. It wasn't long before we started having Black Doms Forums, in a private chat. Adomis03 was a blessing in terms of advice, information and guidance during that time. Thank you Sir. {S. Dommast. One night the speaker for one of the forums didn't show up. I was about out of my mind. I don't recall exactly how it happened, but I asked MasterVoid if he would fill in, he said yes and did an outstanding lecture on "Bondage, Techniques, and Safety." That was August of 1998 and we have been friends ever since. I was blessed to create, design and publish the Black Doms Newsletter from October 1998, to October 1999. I hold dear the relationships that were developed throughout our community during that time. MrDesade69 was our first "Dominant of the Month," in the December 98 edition. Around the same time he and I founded the Storm~Desade Academy for new submissives. Five wonderful graduates later, we shut the doors in September 1999. Many new subs still request our debutante type study and graduation. However, lack of staffing made it impossible. It was also announced that I would be placing the newsletter into the capable hands of MsBlkJagg. Two weeks later, I met lordPantheros1. MrDesade and he met and became friends. Soon Cntrler was invited onboard and Nubian Kings was born. What has impressed me most, is how they communicate with one another. Even meeting on three way conference calls. lord Pantheros1, deserves special kudos for taking responsibility for the majority of the hands on work involved. It is truly inspiring to be a part of a Black Male Dominated community. Until now, chats rooms have been almost exclusively ran by subs. I will be forever grateful to these strong black gentlemen for stepping up to the plate and commanding honor and order in their realm. They also serve as visible role models for emerging Black dominants. 5b. In what direction would you like to see the community go? Most importantly, I would like to see seasoned, real time, Doms take a more assertive role in the mentoring of new dominants. As African Americans, we are the newest players on the scene. It seems that everyone is more than willing to mentor and train new subs. Yet how are we supposed to provide them with quality dominants if no one will step up to the plate and offer guidance? Yes, I said offer. Ego and insecurity will prevent the average male from asking for help. It's almost unheard of from a dominant. However, if our community is to grow healthy and productive that responsibility to learn and teach must be realized. 6. In your opinion, what influence has the Internet had on the BDSM community? The Internet has validated the long felt desires of many. These yearnings now have a face, a name and acceptance. However, it has also given free reign to many predators both male and female. Yet, educational information can be found here to help keep one safe from harm. Personally, I think it's wonderful. Most Nubians would never have found one another without it. 7. What would you personally like to see happen, in terms of improving the online BDSM community as a whole? Personally, I would like to see us all take to heart the fact that these are real human beings on the other side of these screens. I would like to see us do nothing to each other online, that we would not do to a person in real time. When AOL first became popular, it was a big game to everyone, now it's a way of life. We should treat it as such. 8. Would you consider pursuing a serious D/s relationship started online? Why/why not? That's a very, very difficult question. Meeting someone and start to get to know them here, yes. Perhaps even fall in love. However, I could not imagine wearing a cyber collar. Therefore, a truly serious D/s relationship for me would have to move offline in order to take it to that level. The passionate nature of a D/s relationship demands physical interaction. Both for pleasure and behavior modification. Many of the "bad" habits I may have as a submissive, can only be corrected in real time. In addition, a "Cyber Dom" would never know the depth of my surrender and joy of service. I need to feel him, not just imagine feeling him. 9. What is your life like outside the BDSM community? My career encounters demand that I am on top of my game and remain competitive. My coworkers refer to me fondly as the "Rottwieller." After hours, I am still the reluctant captain of my own ship. I long for the day when coming home means laying my sword down at the door and slipping comfortably into my submission. Perhaps a bath, dinner, and then being bound, gagged and blindfolded. Just leave me in a corner alone for a bit and let me unwind. This is when I exhale. 10. Why did you consent to do this interview? To be honest, It was my turn. Plus, I get the chance to run my mouth. In the process, it has made me re~examine my own thoughts, desires and purpose in the lifestyle. I appreciate the opportunity.
What is your opinion on Play Parties? Put in their proper perspective, I believe play parties can enrich a couples relationship. No better place for a Dom to observe and learn new tools and techniques. Better yet, it's the one place where Doms freely exchange advice and information. As a submissive, I found play parties helpful in the formation of my limits and desires. There I have seen things that I long to try someday, as well as things which have proved to be my hard limits. Play parties are the only place I can go and comfortably wear fetish fashions outside of the house. I also get to see what kind of costumes I might like to own. I'm sure I would have never seen fully liveried, pony girls pulling a cart for their master anywhere else. There are usually lots of toy makers, vendors and play equipment designers, so you also get to shop for new sensations. There is always something new to learn. It's not something I would wish to do on a regular basis, but it can certainly help keep the fires burning brightly. One word of caution. Most play parties cater to the edge playing SM crowd. The activity can be quite intense including blood play. Many of the scenes can be disturbing and are certainly not for everyone. However, I learned a long time ago that this is not a "One Size Fits All," lifestyle. You take from it only that which is pleasing to you and that is as it should be. What would you like your legacy to the BDSM community-at-large to be? It is important to me, to help make things easier for others to come to terms with their reality safely. I would want my legacy to be one of service and commitment to this community. How has D/s changed your life? I have noticed and come into contact with an ever increasing number of African American Submissives. For the most part, we tend to be novice subs with little or no real time experience. However, the desires are very real and we thirst for the intensity of a D/s relationship. Why? There is no doubt a different reason for each submissive, therefore I can only speak for myself. As a member of a matriarchal community, I felt that I had never enjoyed the full benefit of being a woman. Perhaps never knowing the true power, love and the glory of our men. At some point I grew tired of "wearing the pants" and wished to give over control in a soft flowing skirt. I desired the guidance and teachings that can only be received at my Sir's hand. For me, it feels natural. It also follows the letter of my spiritual upbringing. I was created to serve a man. Everything about me was designed for his pleasure. I feel whole when he claims what is his. The need to submit to the will of a dominant male, to be owned by him, to wear his collar and leash is a powerfully erotic enticement. To be cared for, honored, cherished and protected fuels the hunger to serve him. In my opinion, many women are beginning to answer the call of their ancestors. While reaping the joys that can only be provided by our warriors. As I educate myself further, I find that as demanding as this lifestyle truly is, the only thing that is required of me, is to simply be what I am, a woman. I
surrender.
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