Master
Angelina © 2003

I do not remember the last time we played. It was a while ago. I don't really count the last few half-hearted attempts we made, when neither of us could really get into it. I still adore being a submissive. I still adore being your submissive, your love slave. Our play was an intricate dance, each of us reacting to the other. I felt natural, beautiful, and savagely primal in our passion. However, the music stopped playing and I can't remember the steps properly without it.

I go to my drawer and take out the collar that marks me as yours. I haven't worn it in weeks. What a contrast to the endless nights I spent nude, save for this lovely strip of black leather caressing the soft skin of my neck. I haven't worn it during our recent times of difficulty. I know in my mind that when I served you, I did so to the
best of my abilities and that you were pleased with me, but your absence leaves me wondering what I could have done to keep you close to me.... if I truly gave you what you needed, wanted, and deserve.

Wearing this symbol of your ownership of me intensifies this pain and doubt I feel inside. I buckle the collar around my neck and kneel quietly on the floor, tears flowing down my cheeks, trying to pretend that I'm not alone.

Apart from the naughty delight I experienced when you were trying hard to punish me, being masochistic has other advantages for me as well. I take out the nipple clamps you sent me and fasten them on. I tighten the screws a bit every minute or so, stifling the cries that rise in the back of my throat as the pain increases. I begin to lose myself in the physical sensation, forgetting my loneliness and longing. With the pain increasingly flowing through me, it becomes easier to close my eyes and imagine you here, tightening their grip on me, speaking to me softly and encouraging me to accept the pain and submit to more, even beg for it.

I remember that you love to hear me, and I stop keeping back the moans and cries that come so naturally. Finally, the clamps are as tight as they can be, and I am trembling and gasping with the effort it takes to keep my unbound hands behind my back now. I close my eyes, as the sharp pain continues to peak, waiting for it to begin as I know, it will. But not yet. I relish the pain, and the release and distraction it brings from my mental anguish. When you first began to own me, you were delighted to learn of my love and desire to please you orally. I go to my drawer again, and take out the soft black leather blindfold you gave me, and a dildo. With the
blindfold on, it is easy to imagine you standing before me, waiting for me to serve you.

I eagerly nuzzle you, starting with loving, worshipping licks and kisses up and down your length. I take my Master's cock into my mouth, sucking and licking, swirling my tongue around you, silently showing you how
much I adore you and want to please you. I feel my own arousal growing, my mind drifting to the warmth and wetness I can feel between my legs. I sharply tug the chain on my nipple clamps, as I imagine you would,
reminding me to focus on serving you and not to let my mind drift to my own pleasures in the task.... but you make it so hard, Master! As I take you deeper into my mouth, all I can think of is how much I want you to
fuck me, to use me in any way imaginable. My mind swims with the possibilities.

It is time for pleasing you, and not me. I know that I cannot ask for a reward of an orgasm, or even for your touch, since if I really was a good sub, you'd be here with me right now. Therefore, I bind my legs together with the soft white rope, I find with my toys. I know you love the way it looks, snug around my skin, and it makes it far easier for me to behave and not let my hands wander to my sweetly aching pussy. It's late, and, wincing, I remove the nipple clamps and put them away. I carefully climb into bed, pulling the covers around me. I enjoy the confining sensations from my collar, blindfold, and ropes, as it's the closest I can get to being held in my Master's arms now. My tears absorbed by the blindfold, I silently pray for the obstacles between us to resolve, as I drift to sleep. Your ownership of me taught me about a side of myself I had never understood before, and now I feel frightened and lost without your guidance. But maybe, if I'm really good, you'll come back to me.