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Little Girl Lost

WomanChild © 2005

"I know secrets of the night, of the deep..." 

It's a big cold house, lurking near route 61 highway in Heath, AR. The room is bare except the furniture, no rugs on the rough wood floors or curtains at the windows.

Sunlight late afternoon, pale weak sunlight streams through the window, but brings no warmth, only a sickly yellow pale beam of light illuminating the dark cold room. It is autumn, watching as shadows fall across the floor......
There is this little girl with skin the color of sunlight with an amber glow, and thick reddish colored braids swaying about her face down her back. Her nose is running, as usual she has a cold, her eyes are vacant staring at herself in the mirror. She is wearing a dress her grandmother made with tiny lavender flowers all over it, it's stiff from dirt and leaves her cold....
The dress is all she is wearing, no underwear, shoes or socks, the dress is up under her arms held there by large ebony hands, these hands are holding the little girl about three feet off the floor, sliding her tiny body back and forth along the length of his long, hard ebony Dick.

The little girl is watching from the corner of the room, flooting high up near the ceiling waiting, she ran away because she is frightened. The hands and dick are attached to this tall lanky boy, with skin the purest shade of ebony it glows reflecting the sunlight, I think that's why he's called Sunnyboy, always so pleasant and cheerful with sunlight in his eyes, he is naked or maybe his pants are down around his ankles, he too looks into the mirror, but he is smiling face glowing.

As he watches himself slide back and forth between the child's legs. I think she wet herself because his dick is all wet making the sliding less painful as he pumps her back and forth, sliding her tiny body faster and faster until he shoots white stuff all over her down there, between the infant vagina, between the baby buttock, he smears his thick white duck butter, then placing her gently on the floor in front of the tall mirror, he rights his clothes and walks out smiling and whistling.

There is pain everywhere, even the sunlight she fears will hurt, the babychild is afraid to move, the white stuff burns like fire, because she is raw down there.

She is frozen in time staring into her own soul, like a tiny statue left by unknown artists long ago.

I am tired so i sleep floating up there watching the child staring into nothing, and listening to my sister and brothers playing outside the window in the warm sunshine. Now it's very dark, someone I don't know who, someone big maybe the brownboy the nice one, lights a lamp, seeing her standing there picks up the three y/o child, someone holds her close briefly to a solid warm chest, then gently put her to bed, covering her cold body with icy covering, the bed is to cold for her small body to warm itself, she is shaking violently... I join her there because pain and cold don't bother me. i am tough. I crawl into bed with her, i hug her and warm her. We sleep, someone is cooking dinner.

She is my friend, i know what she know, feel her pain, but she has to learn to run away, learn to be bad, must learn to trust me and i will protect her, i am with her watching over her always, because she is my friend.
She sleeps. Her sleep is disturbed by a sweet spicy smell and gentle hands lifting her from her bed wrapping her in his warm arms...Daddy, as she snuggles safely in his arms, he always comes in the night, after he finish gambling and drinking with his friends. He comes to see his only child. He holds her close, as if he is aware of the horror she is going through and is trying to soothe her little spirit, he whispers to her as she sleeps and strokes her thick braids from her tiny face, kissing her cheeks, then He sleeps sitting there in her grandparents room by the fireplace holding her close to his heart.

When she awakes he is gone leaving her a present of clothing or jewelry. She loves her father, who never hurt her only one time did he spank her, when as he holds her she poked his bulge in his pants, because she wanted to see it swell up, and all the men like it when she do that so she do it to her Daddy, who promptly smack her tiny hand away and shakes his head at her nothing more, just a frown and gentle head shake, and she knew the game was not to be played with Him. He look so sad, there are tears in His eyes as he lift her tiny chin and look deep into her eyes, such a gentle spirit her Father, so quiet and deep also dangerous.

When she is six years old, her world collapses around her, the brownboy left, also her Father was sent away for 7 years for killing a whiteman who was raping his wife, manslaughter. Suddenly there was no anchor, she was left alone except for me who will never leave her.

She hides, withdrawing into herself, living in her own little world safe from all the pain, no one knows how bad she is hurting inside, how she craves her Father's warm safe arms and gentle loving smile as he look at her, or her older brothers the brownboys loving embrace and smile of approval as he teaches her to read and write, never hurting her, just loving her. Also her only sister had to leave the farm, strain the Dr said, lifting heavy objects hurt her down there, she has to wear a truss to support her female organs...

The sunday morning before as usual he came back without our grandmother, and called her to his bed as usual, but this time was different he hurt her bad, she can still hear her sisters screams, not calling anyone just screaming like an animal, caught in a trap, she slowly creeps from their bed and crawls on her stomach to the door separating their rooms and raises the hanging to see what is wrong with her sister, and watching as the bright moonlight coming through the window flood the room with light, her stepgrandfather as he hurt her sister down there, he ripped her open she showed her the next day as they pour cool water over her to ease the pain, she was sent to live with their aunt in Memphis, leaving the child to his mercy, her only fear is that he will split her open like he did her sister, so she is a good girl when he call her to his bed.

She has learned to be bad, but she likes it, even though it makes her feel evil inside, and this is funny and makes her laugh, as if laughing is a way to make it more bearable a way to hurl it into the sun to be consumed there reduced to ashes, there's a darkness forming inside her warm and soothing, this secret world of hers is growing each day, as she seeks that which is not to be.
The day is bright and clear, there's magic in the air, the ski is pale blue fresh and clean, the smell so unaffected it hurts, lending an aura of beauty to all it touches. There is a river in the road form by a brief late spring down pore, the warm water is up to our waist, our feet planted firmly on the hard packed sand road bottom, which in a few hours will magically return to being only a hard packed sandy road.

They are mud crawling, clad in only cut off jeans laughing and splashing in the warm sweet waters so clean and pure, their own private swimming pool sent to them by the Gods for their pleasure. Summer clouds are coming in heavy with more rain. they open pouring sweet rain down as the sun continue to shine...She knows why today is extra special, today she is bleeding for the first time, her period started today, it's her secret which she shares with her sister because she is so happy to have her home for the summer and her play sister, today she is a womanchild eleven years old her body is fully developed inside and out, she can bring forth new life now, this is all her own special magic, until someone told Mama, as they tire of their mud crawling game they come to the house, rain is pouring off the tin roof in clear sheets of sweet liquid...." Girl you will die if you get wet on your period" Mama said, but she know she is wrong because here she stands not dead,
She looks at her Grandmother raises her arms to the sky and walk into the waterfall, this is the first and only time she ever connected with her Grandmother on this day, the first warm rainfall of the spring and without knowing or understanding how, she had just performed an age old ritual, young females just entering into womanhood bathing in the first rainfall of the spring, she became one with the water, standing there arms outstretched to the heavens, head thrown back she becomes one with nature part of the storm soaring with it, floating among the dark plump clouds, coming to earth as herself, standing there absorbing all that she is.
Everyone was silent grandparents, sister, brothers, playsister, all just stood watching as the dark clouds block out the sun.
Then the sun burst forth and the rain stopped, all eyes watching and waiting for her to drop dead. She only threw back her head and laughed...
"Put a shirt on gal, you to big to run around naked, you too old said her Stepgrandfather". Moma only dropped her head and began to hum softly to herself...she would never meet her again. Who was she, their eyes meet and they looked deep into each other really connected, something old and secret pass between them, became a part of them, then it was gone never to be repeated, she return to being that passive silent woman we all call Mama, our beloved Grandmother.

She is hurting, anger boiling deep inside her, but she don't know why. Anger hot white like bolts of lightening, where to hurl it, no target, she feel it inside boiling inside her chest she cant breathe. She feel it moving down seeking, settling in her lower abdominal, spreading out coming to rest in her clit, now it's sexual, can anger be sexual...well doesn't hurt anyone it only brings pleasure and relief. So fucking What.

Run, run hide under the sacks of cotton seeds pull the sack over you leave a small opening to breathe and watch for him, quiet hide.
"Peeeeewee where are you, don't you hide from me girl i'll get you peeeewee!
I see you, got cha girl, suddenly the air hole is gone, she cant breathe it's dark no air, she cant get out not fast enough, he's sitting on top of the sack bouncing up and down, heavy crushing the air from her body, cant breathe darkness.

The little girl is lying spread eagle on the bare wood floor, her little dress is pulled up around her neck, there is bright afternoon sun coming through the window making the large room bright and warm almost pleasant, the room is filled to the ceiling with fifty pounds sacks of cotton seeds for spring planting. There is an area for walking next to the wall from one end to the other, this is where the child is pined down, her feet are pined to the floor by one of her little brothers, he is sitting there holding her feet wide apart, watching him wating, her hands are held over her head by her other brother he also waits. She is watching the pretty dust particles floating in the sunlight all golden and amber.

"Do it to her Jr, put your peepee in her there, pointing with a long switch to her little vagina, he did as he was told, darkness, Now you pointing to her other brother, he also do it to her, the ebonyboy leaves, but the children ages three to five continue doing what he told them, because he forgot to tell them to stop.

Sitting under the apple tree writing to Daddy, he is teaching me to paint pictures with away quick, something beautiful.
I am a sun Goddess old as time, I watched as man was formed from clay, I guarded and protected eve in the garden of Eden but left her when she refused to trust me. I am eternal as spring, my body is strong and beautiful the color of warm honey kissed by the sun, I walk with my head held high and proud, clothing are confining, I must feel the warm caress of the sun's glow as it touches my bare skin....

She reflects on her eleventh birthday wondering why she get so angry, all she remembers is flashes of a man's sex organs, the color is all wrong, it's light tan, not black like the ebonyboy, the size is all wrong also smaller, shorter...what's that a fantasy ?, nooo...she remember his violation of her infant body, she can still see his dick in the moonlight, feel it tearing her body, she also remembers liking it, she fucked him right back, wrapping her small legs around his body she moved her body in union with his, she feels the pain, so sharp she wonders why she had forgotten all of it with him. deep pain that like the anger turn to pleasure. Now she remembers, why the anger, he stopped taking her to his bed when she turned eleven, the feeling of rejection anger and hurt oh yes and hatred as well, he treated her as if she had done something to displease him, he just stopped touching me, he was the only person in my life with skin the same color as mine, it's his dick I see and fantasize about, I liked him fucking me. Which is why she tried to kill him, not because he beat Mama, but he rejected her, tossed her aside...

She understands it's not her fault, but how do she get past loving the abuse, just thinking about it makes her all wet and hot, it's an atrocity, an evil insidious atrocity, how dare him do that to me all those years, his willing sex slave then discarded, like something dirty, he had no right the animal, sorry I stopped her from killing him.

The day is hot, it feels good to be home alone cooking lunch, the house is cool and dark, she finished setting the table, fetched veggies from the garden and made the salad. She cooked the biscuits just like he liked them, golden brown, Hot, plump and flaky. The roses are in full bloom as is she at thirteen y/o, she picks arms full and places them in jars all over the house, placing a clean white cotton cover on the mantle over the fire place, she places two jars filled with sweet smelling roses on each end of the mantel...
The radio is on in her grandparents room playing a James Brown tune, she loves James Brown, leaving the kitchen window watching as her grandfather walks down the road, to the house...( she had forgotten seeing him coming, just blanked it out ) She goes deep into the music, body moving like an exotic dancer, where did she learn to dance like that, every move is sensuous, fluid and hot, she removes her clothing and dances naked in the mirror in her grandparents bedroom.

She hears the water running as her grandfather drinks, she continues to dance in a trance like state, eyes closed lost in the music, bumping and grinding to the beat, she opens her eyes looking in the mirror she sees her grandfather looking at her through the window, he is watching her dance, their eyes lock in the mirror hers dreamy and soft and inviting his wild and
crazed, in the mirror she watches as a slow nasty smile plays at the corners of her mouth as she slowly does a seductive figure eight rolling her belly as she had been taught to, with her hands behind her head breasts taught and ripe she is truly beautiful and she is aware of it, after all her tits are a 34C waist is 22 hips are 38, she bumps her thirteen y/o pussy directly in his nasty evil lil face, and he went crazy, for real, looking at her body she sees the color drain from my face and entire body, she is frozen in place, doing a bump, he is not pleased, there is rage in his face hatred in his eyes and something else. Lust, yeah nasty old fucker, he suddenly leaves the window running. I'm stunned, standing there with my hands behind my head, icy cold fingers of fear shooting from every nerve that minutes before were on fire.

He bursts through the door winding a plow rope around his hand, eyes huge breathing so hard, he ran to their bed grabs a pillow threw it to the floor and commands me to lie on it, she places the pillow under her tender breast, because the floor is full of splinters and dirty, but he orders her to place it under her pelvic, then he started beating her with all his might he brought the rope down hitting her everywhere, the rope was the size of a hot-dog and stiff and he doubled it making a deep flat thud sound each time it made contact with her, he was hitting her over the head, shoulders, back, buttock, thighs, legs, not caring where he hit her or how hard, funny thing is she felt no pain just fear, she never saw him so angry, he became tired beating her setting on the bed he continue to beat her jumping up bringing the rope down, then collapsing onto the bed, and repeating the assault...
She sense more than she saw, because she was floating in a warm safe place watching it all, but Mama was there she must have heard her screams although she has no memory of screaming she did, she is aware of her screams "Hun you gonna kill her" slow motion she watches her grandmother place her ample body in front of her protecting her, grabbing him in a bear hug throwing him onto the bed and holding him there with her legs wrapped around his skinny body, he fights with her trying to get at me but she holds his and screams "Run peewee Run " she ordered everything was so fuzzy for her out of focus, she is afraid if she run he will kill her ..."Run" her grandmother screamed, there was such fear in her voice it alone moved her to her feel weak and shaking she ran naked and hid in the fields, her Grandmother was crying, poor Mama he will surly kill her now, burst her poor head open like a watermelon as he always threaten to do, he will beat her now, who will save her. unable to stand she crawl back to watch the house and listen for her screams, but it never came, her clothes are clutched in her arms she try to put them on, but can not so she use them for a pillow on the cool earth green and sweet smelling.... she is sweating, her back, legs, shoulders butt are wet from it, she feel it running down her body seeping into the's red she is bleeding everywhere he hit her bleeding, she lay onto her back like she see the animals do after an injury, coating it with a thick coat of dirt stopping the flow of blood, then she sleeps, when she awake it is three days later, she has no memory of going home, but she is in the farm working with her family. don't know how she got there, but there she is working the earth and staring at heat waves floating across the field rainbow colors shoot from them like sparks they are pretty and so soft..., she is ahead of everyone even him, so she must have been working hard ...

Come here Helena, (his special name for her), he commands so gentle and soft his voice sound, her throat gets tight, she wants to cry, because he sound sorry, he is sorry he hurt me so bad. She goes to him in a daze, watching her grandmother's fearful face, she slowed a bit, but she want to feel his arms around her holding her close just for a second, then the world will come back into focus, because she is floating free still, in and out of sync, a million tiny parts of me free in my shape but liquid not solid...
She stands before that animal, head and eyes down hands at her side completly open, waiting...Suddenly there is a loud clap like thunder as his large strong hand connect with the right side of her tiny face and head,
There is an explosion inside her head searing white hot pain shoot through her brains, her eyes are floating in pools of red color, she is sitting on the ground holding her face looking up at his as he smiles and say "Now get your ass back to work and don't let me have to tell you again"
Confused, dazed, and dizzy, she never say a word ever again to him or her grandmother, she did not cry, because there is this hard cold place inside her bringing her into focus making her solid it connects her to Mother earth, like a giant oak tree her roots run deep drinking from her life giving strength.
There is peace in this new coldness inside her, she has a secret, if she let the coldness free it would destroy him, make him vanish...Instead she will send it to her Father in prison, she is going to tell her Father everything, then Daddy will kill him, she returned to work humming to herself like her grandmother. She has a plan to free them all.

Daddy he hurts me, he hurt sister bad, he hurts us all she writes. He keep trying to kill Mama, we run away from him pulling her by the hand as she scream his name over and over as she weeps with blood running down the side of her face from another gash in her head, she has headaches all the time and fall out a lot, she sit beside her grandmother rubbing her poor head for hours sometimes, as she cry for her only child our Mother who never writes or visit, to come save us all, take us away from him.
Daddy come and kill him so he wont hurt us anymore, Daddy help us we are alone, help us escape, come get me Daddy, he hurt me.
Mama watches me write the letter, later after I place it in the mail box for pick up, she removes it and tear it up in small pieces. She never told her father, because Mama was scared he would kill him she did not want him dead, so she just forgot all of it until she started therapy.
She hates herself because she did not kill him when he rejected her when she started her period at eleven, he never touched her again only beating her...
All those years from five to eleven she was his willing sex slave then he just threw her aside like a piece of dirty shit paper, her body craves his touch she was trained to please his every wish, she needs it, don't feel centered without it.

Sex is her only outlet. Why did he ever touch her in the first place, I'm afraid for her, all that rage bottle up inside her small frame. He had no right to do that. she is hurting so bad and i cannot help her, you see she left me after the beating, she don't know I exist anymore, but I still stay and feel her pain.
He called her dirty names as he fucked her because she was so eager, and liked it so much, his dirty little games she was fearless in his bed, she learn what he liked and gave it to him in spades, and he hated her for it. She feels no guilt or shame only useful and needed, oh yeah and lets not forget loved, what a fucking joke.

Tired, want to sleep don't feel well, feel sick, there is a ball of pressure in my chest in my throat, cant breathe so we look inward examines this mass in our throat and chest. It's "Hot" white hot hurting us, it's Rage so pure and concentrated tightly bounded and controlled... No, it has a direction it's not controlled it's running ramped inside us, so we look closer. Hidden deep inside this mass of rage the very heart of it is Hate, hate for all the wrong in the world, hate for ourselves because we feel evil and unclean, it makes us feel ugly and twisted inside, twisted like her poor Uterus as the Dr said when she was expecting her first child, the Dr don't know why it's twisted but we do, its twisted from him slamming his dirt dick into my underdeveloped body for six years, our mind is twisted because we liked it. Our spirit is twisted because we lost ourselves when we learned the name and meaning for what we had been doing... INCEST dirty evil thing, we learn in church from our pastor when we were eleven getting ready for baptism, the waters not only washed our sins away, but washed away all the memory of the act with our grandfather, but left the other intact to remind us it was wrong, the memory of the ebonyboy has always been with us, it was not as damaging as the other with our grandfather, she would not have survived with that memory in tact, but she lost a very important part of her self, when she forgot, she forgot the little girl lost needing love and approval, the little girl so cruelly hurt, we lost her....

She use to send silent prayers to our Father feeling the comfort of his arms as he use to hold her wrapped in his coat close to his chest, safe and warm, we could smell his after shave, always so clean and neat, He was the kindest and most gentle influence in her life ripped away so cruelly, she still pleads with his to help her, begging Him to take the pain away, Daddy we are lost out there floating, lost alone, cant find our way back, we don't want to be here with him we are scared. Run the fuck away.
Little girl, little girl, you bad, bad girl, what are you doing you bad little girl.
I WomanChild watch you, you bad little girl....
I am seeking a Man, a big strong Man, a fierce powerful man, one who's body I can ride, enslave his mind, lock his spirit in a jar tightly capped and dance for him, tease him until I see the hunger in his eyes, feel his need of me strong and sharp, coming at me like bolts of lightening.
I will torment his soul until he disintegrate from his passion, his need to posses me will consume him, then I will seek another. I play with big strong men because they like to play with me, our own little games, bad, dirty little games. Now they seek WomanChild, I wait and watch from the dark, they will find me in the mist of time, because you see the night is mine.

Her grandparents married her off two weeks before her sixteenth birthday, before they said, she disgraced the family by becoming with child before she was married...what a fucking joke, although she keeps trying to find men, but they all fear her grandfathers temper, no one ever dared to touch one of his granddaughters, he would kill them, so her search was all in vain.
She knew nothing of marriage or being a wife. Mamma told her to obey her husband and he would not hit her, she was a good wife for fifteen years, she gave him eight children, that after all is why he married her to bear him children since he was twenty seven and never had a child, so she did as she was told. Then found he had no idea of how to be a husband or father, so she took her babies and left him, she was only twenty six with eight children, but they lived better without him, she raised them all without any more harm coming to them, they are beautiful children, the only thing she got from the union.

Her girlfriend ask her one day to go with her to see this man who liked to beat women with his belt and he would pay them for doing it, she went.
He was her friends brother-in-law, separated from his mate. He seemed sort of nice smelled so good, and was handsome as well, they talked a few minutes then he told them to disrobe and wait for him in the bedroom, they did as they were told, he came to the room naked also, with his belt in his hand, he hit her friend first, she acted like she was cumming, so he hit her again, then she ran out, leaving her alone with him, he hit her once across the back, she stood still, and watched. as his dick started to swell she liked that so he hit her again over and over, after the first lick, there was no pain, she just focus on his dick, and facial expressions, he liked it so much, she stood her grounds, then he took salt and rubbed it into her back, "That" hurt a lot, he said it was to keep it from becoming infected but he was so excited sexually, then he threw her on the bed and fucked her in a way she never had before, violently and brutal, she cumed over and over as he continued plunging violently into her she passed out from the sheer pleasure of it, or just sort of floated in space on a wave of passion she had never had before, they became lovers.

She felt sick, another girlfriend of hers walked into the bathroom one day as she was getting out of the tub and screamed when she saw her back marks, and told her that man was sick and only wanted to disfigure her body.
So she never did it again, she thought she was mentally ill for liking it and letting him do it to her, so her journey continued, she suppressed all the kinky feelings, and became a Christian working and raising her children in the faith, she was a good mother, a bit strict but a loving caring parent.
Then she met her second husband, they were married in an African ceremony, and they were poly, it was her duty to screen all his future wife's for their family, she did, but never loved him, she don't think she ever was in loved with either of them, but she loved them for different reasons.
Her second husband was sort of kinky, he had a cum fetish, and loved her taste, it was doing one of these times she wanted to play a game with his, he only wanted to lick her but she had other ideas, she ask if she could do it and he consented, she tied a length of rope around his neck, instructed him to get down on all four and crawl to her and he could lick her, he did it, she spanked his ass as he did with a ping pong paddle, because he was bad she told him, then after he had his fill of drinking from her, they fucked, doing the encounter she slipped her finger in his ass and he never noticed, only becoming more excited, she rammed it as deep as it could go, and he cummed so hard she feared he would have a heart attack.
Another time she ask him if she could give him an enema, he went bonkers, asking "why would a man let his woman play with his ass," she only smiled, and said OK, but he always loved their little games, so did she. Their relationship continued until she got online and started exploring the lifestyle.

She felt so betrayed by his style of lovemaking he had her Domming him all these years, and she had no idea, also she was in love with a Dom online who wanted her to go r/t, she never would but found herself craving it, so she ran, because she could, would not cheat, but her husband felt her slipping away, he felt the loss of her affections, so he went outside of their relationship, as a result they were all infected with Hepatitis C, he told her after they separated, what a chastity belt.

He was the delivery man, from the local liquor store, but they knew him and his friends, one day he came to bring her order, and ask if he could have a drink in place of a tip, of course she agreed, he turn on music and sat and talked with her for hours all the time feeding her gin, when she got drunk, he picked her up and took her to her bedroom telling her she was drunk, and started taking off her clothing, she fought him, until he started hitting her, her children were sleeping in their rooms, and she did not want them to hear also she feared he would hurt them, he beat and raped her in every way possible for three days, continually, forcing her to drink gin, and he forced pills down her throat, and blew reefer into her mouth holding her nose and mouth shut to force her to inhale, on the third day she was allowed to take a bath alone, when she saw the damage done to her face she ran, naked in the dead of winter, taking a throw from the couch, as she ran out the door, she went to her friends house and called the police, they refuse to arrest his, but did make him leave the house, she lost her first job from that, he came back a few days later having stole her second set of keys, she was so afraid he would hurt her again she took a hammer and struck him with all her might up side his head, blood was everywhere, he left they found him a few days later in an ally dead, they said he had a seizure form a head wound. did she kill him?, she hoped so.

She is laying on her stomach under the hanging that divides their room from her grand parents, watching them talk, the ebonyboy was there, she never saw him leave or she would have run away, but suddenly she felt his rough hands pulling down her panty, she knew better than to scream, then he sodomize her, right there in her grandparents presense, they could not see what he was doing because he was behind the hanging, only her head was visible to them since she was laying on the floor.

She is walking to the baby-sitter early one morning, with her two boys, she felt someone was following her but thought it was all in her mind, lots of people were out that time of morning going to work no need to go there.
A few days later, she is sleeping soundly when she felt her bedroom door open, or felt the air, thinking it was one of the children she sat up only to have a gun placed to her head, and a man whispered harshly, dont scream he ask for her money, her mind went to the lamp which has three hundred dollars under it for the childrens clothing so she shook her head, he then pushed her back on the bed and raped her, then left. she feared he was going after her children, so she jumped out of bed not thinking he might shoot her and ran to their rooms, they were sleeping soundly, but her front door was open, he had cut the screen on the window next to the door and entered that way, she called the cops, again they refuse to act on it, even after she told them she knew who he was, and she did, it was the nineteen year old son of her neighbor, he would stand on the street corner and torment her on the way to church with her children, with "Never had it so good"...
she told her husband what he had done, and he was a black belt ninth degree, he and men from his gym caught him and beat his ass, the broke his jaw, ribs, and an arm, when I saw him sitting in front of his grandmothers house, she could not help but say to him as she passed, "Never had it so good huh," he looked so scared, never saw him again.
Her journey continues, she is now a Priestess of a traditional African religion, and has finally found peace of a sort. She now know first, that she is not sick, her shrink told her this also, she is just different, and she do not hate men, after all her beloved Father and older brother are men, they were, are strong yet gentle spirits, as are her sons. She is finally at peace with herself and her world. "If life gives you lemons, don't focus on the bitter fruit, make lemon aid sweeten with honey.

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