Martha Stewart: My Confessions...
Darrell Williams © 2005

The truth must be told.

On a windy day in March, 2004 a jury of my peers found me guilty on charges of conspiracy, obstruction of justice, and making false statements under oath. I just turned 62, divorced, a media superstar, and a wealthy woman, and I was on my way to jail. I was numb. The two valium I took that morning were doing their job quite well. I couldn’t feel a thing. With the buzz coming over me, I drifted into a haze as the head juror read off the charges one by one.

I glanced over at my daughter Alexis. Tears were streaming down her face. I had done my best to be there for her, just as any rational mother would do. But in reality, we weren’t really close. I have never been able to truly “connect” with people. I guess because I am so comfortable being alone with my crafts. When I was younger, I didn’t have many friends. The funny thing is now, I will be forced to be in close quarters with a complete stranger.

As Judge Cedarbaum asked the head juror for the verdict, I found myself fantasizing about running naked through a field of white daisies, with the sun beaming down on my face. Nearby was a stream of clear, cool water. I bent down to take a drink, and noticed that I looked much younger than I am now. I had long flowing blonde hair, and my breasts were perky and full. Somewhere in my haze I heard, a rumble, followed by the word “Guilty!” A strong tug at my arm pulled me back to the courtroom. “All rise!”

I was given only five months in jail. Fortunately, the $750,000 payoff to “his honor” was enough to get him to turn the other cheek. A few months later, I was told to report to Alderson Federal Prison in Alderson, West Virginia against my wishes. It was nicknamed“ Camp Cupcake” for its low security, and lack of razor wire fences. A prison is still a prison, is it not? For weeks I thought of hopping a plane to flee the country, but the idea of not being able to see my daughter or friends again was too much to bear.

My first day of prison reminded me of my first day of school. I was frightened, intimidated, and alone. My clothes were taken, my belongings, and I was thoroughly searched.

“Please bend forward Mrs. Stewart.” The guard said, as she slid her latex glove between my buttocks.

“I will not.” I was mortified. “This is total uncalled for. I am not some druggie or whore off of the street! I am Martha Stewart damn it!”

“Please Mrs. Stewart, it is a prison regulation. If you do not, we will be forced to restrain you…” Just then two guards stepped forward. I bent over, as the guard searched my anus, and vagina with a flashlight. I felt violated. Violation seemed to go with the
territory.

We were a group of 10. We were all marched in our matching bright orange outfits to a tall guard standing at the end of the walkway. We were given a walking tour of the grounds, the mess hall, and recreation center. The guard saved the best part for last. “Oh, if you’re thinking about breaking out, take a good look around ladies. We are 25 miles from the nearest town, and there’s absolutely nothing available between us, and town.” That last sentence was like a 100 ton anvil on my heart.

After orientation, we were taken to our cells. My cellmate was Tawandra. I must confess that I was completely afraid of rooming with a black. I didn’t know anything about them, nor did I socialize with them.

I entered the room clinching my pillow to my breast. My heart racing as I was given a 200 thread wool blanket. The beds were full sized and the sheets were made of a cheap flannel. ‘Oh my god! I was in lower middle class hell!’

Fortunately, the cells were quite large. The design reminded me much of the dorm rooms at Northwestern. Tawandra was quite talkative with her deep southern drawl. Her friends called her "Peaches" she said. She talked about herself mostly. I nodded, and pretended to pay attention to her. She talked about her kids, De'Andre, and Tamika. She was unmarried, and in jail only because of her "no good boyfriend". Three hours later, she asked me about Alexis. I cried. She held me against her. I cried into the night.

At night, we were able to open or close the door, at our discretion. Tawandra liked to keep the door open at night to allow air to circulate into the room. Later that week, I heard footsteps in the hallway. They traveled by our door across the hall. A few moments later, I heard a slight moaning sound. The moans echoed through the building. They were hypnotic, erotic, and morbidly disturbing at the same time. Its strange listening to people make love. The sounds they make are almost like large animals yet enthralling. Of course, I always found it embarrassing to make any sounds when making love.

Personally, I have never enjoyed the labors of my marital obligations. But, something in me stirred. I found myself getting aroused. Sexually. I reached down between my legs and touched myself. Yes. I was definitely aroused, and it felt good! There was a small bead or nub there, and I probed it with my fingers. It felt even better. Soon, I was rocking found myself exploring my nether regions; pressing my against my fingers! Then suddenly, I felt a wave course through me. It was very short. I wasn't sure what it was at the time, but it was delightful.

The next morning Tawandra mentioned it to me. "Gurl, they were definitely going at it last night." She smiled. Making her bed.

Puzzled I asked, "What do you mean?"

"You didn't hear them heffers across the hall grindin' coochie?" she laughed.

I was a little surprised by her acknowledgement. Then I wondered if she saw me touching myself. The thought delighted and frightened me.

I nodded, and smiled back at Tawandra. Despite her situation, she seemed quite content. Tawandra was quite popular in the prison. Her closest friends called her "Peaches". She had friends of all races, quite shocking for someone from West Virginia. She also introduced me to the prison knitting circle, whispering cautiously, "I know you are an expert at this, but I want you respect the ladies in the group, and don't speak out of turn or you might get shanked." Prison is still prison, even at Camp Cupcake.

"This is Lawanda, Tunisia, LaQuanda, Lorraine, and Bernice." They all said hello in chorus. "Hello" I said, feeling very much like the new kid. Every morning before breakfast the ladies got together to knit. Much of the prison business outside of the actual "legitimate" business was ran between these walls by these women. Tawandra arranged to have a special "visit" by her new boyfriend, a guard from D section. The woman she negotiated with barked in a low tone, "You owe me a debt." Tawandra nodded then looked at me and smiled. "Dang gurl, I ain't got any dick in so long that I don't know what I'll do." she blurted out matterfactly.

Meal time at the prison was quite an organizational feat. Meals were prepared for over 1,000 people in less time than it took to bake a honey glazed ham. The breakfast meal consisted of fried ham, fried potatoes, fried eggs, and toasted bread with the option of orange or apple juice. (The same as any mid-western restaurant faire.) I preferred to stick with the orange juice. Surprisingly it was freshly squeezed.

After breakfast, we were paraded in line to the workshop areas. Tawandra had a position in the woodshop. She had grown quite skillful in using a large floor mounted wood grinder. Tawandra and the other prisoners built furniture that was used throughout the prison. Although crude, some of the chairs were quite sturdy in their design. Some of the best pieces were sold to make extra money for repairs around the prison. Some of them were quite skilled at making other items too. Tawandra leaned under the machine, and pulled out a wooden box. "Check this out." I opened the box, inside was a small
wooden phallic looking piece of wood. "Have you ever seen a cuter looking tallywacker in your life?" I ran my fingers over the wooden object. It was quite smooth, and well polished. Someone had spent considerable time on creating it.

We spent most of the following week working in the woodshop. I was beginning to develop calluses on my hand from sweeping the woodchips from the floor. (A nice hanging wicker basket could take care of that problem post haste) Unfortunately, no one wanted to hear any of my suggestions. It was Friday, and Tawandra wanted to finish the evening early so she could get ready for "some luvin" from her "big", "strong" black man.

After dinner we have free time to read, knit or watch TV for a few hours before lights out. I helped Tawandra get ready for her "date". There was a short knock on the dorm room door, and Tawandra excused herself from the room. I spent the rest of the evening alone knitting in the dorm room until well into the evening. I tried not to think about what she was doing, or the other activities that were going on that evening. I dozed off , and dreamt of strong sweaty black men with meaty buttocks.

Shortly before lights out, I was awakened by Tawandra's voice in the hallway. It sounded like she was stopping by every dorm room to chat. She was friendly like that. Tawandra stumbled into the room, turning on the light, she flopped onto the bed. She was holding a large bottle of E&J brandy, and singing to herself. She was drunk. "You know what? That nigga got transferred. Damn..." She took another swig from the bottle.

"I am so sorry to hear about that. Maybe he could come a visit you sometime??" I said, apologetically.

"He ain't comin' by soon. He got 3 other bitches on the outside to see. I was just some weekend entertainment for his sorry ass." She took another drink from the bottle, and gestured towards me. I took her offering. She went on, "It wasn't all bad. He had a big dick, and knew how throw that dick too!" she laughed, thrusting her hips to and fro. The cheap brandy burned as it went down, but it had been so long since I had a good belt that I didn't mind the taste at all. She continued, "We used to play little games. He would tell me to call him sir, and he would spank my ass and shit... Now he's probably spanking some other bitches' ass tonight." I took another, longer sip from the bottle, and said, "I'm so sorry honey. Men are dogs." Tawandra laughed then, stood up and stumbled over to my bed. She sat on the bed, sighing. I wrapped my arm around her to console her. "It'll be ok. You'll find someone better very soon." Tawandra wrapped her arms around me.

About 5 minutes later, I felt her warm soft lips gently pressing against my neck. She kissed my cheek, then slowly flicked her tongue into my ear. I turned to face her. We stared at each other for sometime, then quite innocently, she leaned forward kissing me deeply. In my time in this world, I had never kissed a woman before in that way. Her soft lips pressed against my own. She tasted like fresh peaches, and brandy, and something else unidentifiable to me. Something inside me pushed me to return her kiss. Tawandra kissed me passionately. My body quaked beneath her as she hungrily sucked my lips. Her fingers ran through my hair pulling it. It was hot, and animal like. It ignited me.

She pushed me backward onto the bed sliding herself between my legs. Just then she pulled away from me sitting up. "I'm sorry Martha. I got carried away."

I shook my head. Panting, "No. No....I - -" I was afraid to continue.

Tawandra opened her blouse revealing her full chocolate brown breasts. She smiled and leaned over, pulling me into her, engulfing me in her warmth. It was true about what "they" say. Black is beautiful.
She reached over my head pulling the pillow case from the pillow, and tied my hands together above my head. Her actions frightened me, and turned me on at the same time. She cupped her breast pulling it to my lips, "Suck it." she whispered hoarsely. I ran my tongue over the quickly hardening ridge of her nipple, then closed my lips around the tip and sucked. Her entire body shuttered, as she lifted my head pulling me to her ample bosom.

Opening my blouse, she unfastened my bra freeing my breasts. She firmly pinched my nipples in her fingers, smiling at me like a demon. "I like your titties. They are cute." she said. I was dumbfounded, but so turned on at the same time. She pushed her way between my legs, and I parted them without thinking about it. She squeezed both of them between her hands and licked over the tips of my nipples. I heard myself moan, "Ooohh..." I wanted to grab her and pull her to my bosom hard. Tawandra, flicked and sucked my nipples, alternating between the left and right breast. Dynamic waves of pleasure frolicked through my body. "Oh my goodness!" I screamed. Tawandra licked and sucked my nipples with wild abandon. I didn't want her to stop. Her hands traveled down beneath my nightshirt, and between my legs. I quickly squeezed my legs together trapping her hand between my legs. Normally, my husband would pull away, but she didn't remove her hands. "Open." she said, like a parent to a child. I wanted to protest, but I followed her directions. Her fingers roamed freely over my naughty bits, not as if she was inexperienced, but exploring me fully. This delighted me evermore. I wanted to laugh, and cry with joy from the pleasure I was feeling. She reached down, pulling my panties down beyond my knees, then off my ankles. It had been some time since Xucia, had given me my last bikini wax at the La Queen Sucia salon, but I don't think that she would mind. I felt like a new virgin with her. In many ways, I was still a virgin, and she was going to finally make me a woman.

Her fingers expertly parted the lips of my vagina. Holding the lips open with two fingers, she deliciously slid her middle finger between the moist lips of my vagina, then back up to my sensitive nub. The instant her finger touched it, I was in heaven! She softly circled my nub with her finger again and again. It was too much for me to bear. I couldn't talk. I couldn't think. I was making these uncontrollable guttural moans, and grunts. She slid down between my legs. One lick of her tongue introduced me to another world. That was not enough for her. Her tongue danced wickedly back and forth across my nub. The pleasure tortured me. "Gabba hunna ija gababa!" I heard myself moaning. Then it happened.

She focused her circling tongue on my hungry nub. "AHHHHHH! AHHH! AHHHHH!!!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs. She had given me my first orgasm. My ex-husband never gave me such joy.

I passed out. When I woke up, I wanted more. Tawandra was smiling at me. "Did you enjoy that?" She asked. I nodded yes. Words cannot express what I had felt. Finally I understood the joy of sex.

Just then, she stood up. Her blouse dropped to the floor. She reached over pulling me to my feet by the tied pillowcase. Maybe it was the mixture of alcohol or her sexuality, but she resembled a powerful Nubian goddess warrior queen with her bare chocolate brown breasts, and dark blue denim jeans. She stood there towering over me by several inches in her panties. She undressed me leaving me standing before her naked. I wanted to cover my nakedness, but she batted my hands away. "Gurl, I think you look fine", smiling at me. I wanted to melt.

She pointed at a small box on the nightstand by her bed. "Bring me that box." I walked over to the nightstand and brought the box to her. The she opened the box and smiled." I have something here that I know you are going to like." She reached inside the box, and pulled out a large wooden object. She sat the box on the bed behind her. When she turned around, she was holding a large wooden tallywacker between her legs. I gasped. She stretched a elastic band around her waist, to a metal clasp on the right side of the object. "Come here." she said. I walked over to her, and stood a comfortable distance between myself, and the tip of the thing that jutted from her midsection. I felt at that moment, closer to her, than I had felt with anyone ever before. I wanted to return the pleasure that I had felt, and would do anything she said. "I want you to think of this tallywacker, as being part of me. Open your mouth." she said. I passively opened my mouth. She placed the tip of her toy between my lips. "Now suck it." she said lustily. I eagerly sucked it. Sucking it made me think of how sexual it was. It made me feel dirty, and sexy at the same time. Tawandra thrusted her hips pushing forward in and out of my mouth until my lips made gurgling popping sounds. It was delicious!

"Enough!" she barked. She pulled me away by my hair. She told me to stand, and pulled me across the room by my hair and told me to bend over. She pushed my head down onto the bed. She pushed head of her tallywacker forward, sliding it deep inside me. I had never been so filled before. Tawandra began to move her hips slowly sliding it in and out. Wonderful! I felt as if I had been skewered. A hot hard pole was slid into my nether region, and I was slowly rotating on it. My insides were slowly melting. Tawandra was grunting with every thrust moving more forcefully as her hips pressed against my buttocks. I loved it. I loved being taken. I wanted to be used. I needed it. Tawandra slapped my ass with the palm of her hand while she thrusted. The shock made me jump in the air, but the stinging sensation heighten my pleasure. Whack! She slapped my ass again while riding my ass like a demon sleigh driver. She grabbed my hair, tugging it until my head was tilted backwards. "Oh Yea! How do you like my toy?" She blurted. I couldn't answer. "Nice and big ain't it? You like it in your hot coochie don't you?" I couldn't answer with words. I could only moan and groan. Tawandra laughed, and moaned. She too was enjoying herself.

Soon, as if a dam broke, and a river was set free, I uttered forth a string of nonsensical words. Crazy words that I don't know the meaning of. "F-F-F-Fuck me! Do me! STICK ME LIKE A PIG!" I chanted them like a mantra. My hips thrusted back to me Tawandra's. I melted once again. "FFF!!! I-I-I!! AHHH!!!!" I again exploded, shaking uncontroablly until my legs were weak Tawandra caught me before I fell to the floor, holding me against her in her arms.

Tawandra guided me back to the bed. This time, she loosely secured my hands out from my body on both sides of the bed. She had the brandy bottle in her hands. She poured some of the brandy onto her tallywacker and pressed it against my lips. I could taste a mixture of brandy and my own juices. They were delicious. I never knew how good they tasted. I licked the mixture eagerly lapping until it was completely clean.

Tawandra stood up, and undressed. She came back to the bed and looked down at me. Smiling, Tawandra straddled my head, and asked, "Have you ever had a Tawandra cocktail?" I whispered "No ma'am." She smiled, and poured the remaining brandy over her breasts. It trickled down her body over her breasts, and stomach. It flowed down. Down there.

The brandy flowed down over her luscious chocolate brown body pooling on the lips of her vagina. I stared as the brandy collected on the parted lips of her cunt. She smiled down at me and said, "Drink." She lowered herself onto my face, and I lapped hungrily at the lips of her cunt. The taste was sweet like peaches, yet with the subtle hint of brandy and cinnamon. Tawandra pressed herself against my lips. She pulled my head to her, nearly smothering me in her wetness. Tawandra grunted and moaned wildly.“Unnnnnhhhh! Yessssssss” Hissing, as her hips gyrated and humped against my head. I was enthralled. I was in the moment. I couldn’t stop myself. Her taste was incredibly sweet, and energizing. “MMmmmm… YES! YES!” She yelled, there was more and more juice expelling from her vagina. Ten times more than when I started. I thought I may drown! Tawandra pulled away, she reached down rubbing her nub just as a copious amount of a hot spray gushed forth striking me in the face and cheeks. The spray continued as her body convulsed spray all over my face. Her juices poured forth from her like a fountain. I opened my mouth to say something, it was filled. I swallowed. It was delectable. “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” She shook hard, pumping her hips forward violently until she fell backwards onto the bed.

I was covered in her “juices”. I reveled in delight. I was a delightful sticky mess. I managed to free my hands and laid on the bed beside her. We both fell off to sleep in each other’s arms. It was a blissful slumber.

The next day, everyone in the block knew, about Tawandra, and myself. I didn't care at all. Peaches and I spent a lot of time with each other, and sometimes in the company of friends over the cold winter nights.

There is much more that I would like to share with you. But alas, I am out of time for today. Some other time perhaps?

Some people ask me if I have any regrets. I don’t regret anything. My time spent in prison has given me a new lease on life, and allowed me to explore my sexual freedom as a woman. And as they say, “Whatever happens in prison stays in prison.” At least that's what they say anyway.